So you’ve decided to go long distance; the bothers and pain of your s.o’s absence is worth it and trust rules above all in your relationship. (Not sure whether to take the leap? Consider these and think about it!) That is absolutely great, but it doesn’t mean it will be easy. In fact it won’t be and you will be miserable at times. Luckily, there are ways to endure this situation and actually sprinkle bits of amazing along the way. Here are some ideas to brave distance:
- Skype – No, I don’t mean just talking on it. I mean actually setting up a time and day for it; a Skype Date. Having your s.o on speaker is pretty much like having them there, minus the fact that they actually are just on your screen. But we will omit this tiny detail and proceed to plan out an amazing date where you two will enjoy wine – red or white, your choice, champagne if you’re feeling particularly festive – and maybe watch a movie or TV show online. After a few glasses you both will be slightly tipsy, which will be great for trying to beat each other at online games or just looking through funny Facebook pictures (which may or may not be your own.) Optional: you may take a screenshot to remember the night :)
- Little somethings in the mail – E-mailing is fast and we are so impatient that the Facebook inbox will probably soon take over it (if it hasn’t for you already), but mail can’t and never will lose its appeal. For a long distance relationship, I am not asking you to communicate solely through letters, though maybe sending each other a little week re-cap now and then would be nice. But for the full effect, send your s.o random gifts of goodness through the mail. Do not warn them about it, the surprise is half of it! It can be anything: leaves from your walk home accompanied by a short letter or poem, the last book you read, a photograph of yourself, a drawing, a riddle, chocolates/candy…
- Random calls/SMS – Just to let them know that you miss them, or to wish them a good day or good luck on that presentation. I love getting these in the middle of the day, it just makes you feel remembered and important (which you should be!)
- Scheduled calls – Pick a day of the week (or as many as you’d like) where you will have a catch-up session. You’ll most likely be using Skype for this (unless you are in the same country) as international calls are crazy expensive, but it still counts as a call.
- Visiting! – Frequency will obviously depend on how far away you guys are and your schedules, but it is incredibly worth it to plan some time to see each other. The importance of visits is not only getting to see your s.o, but the quality of that time spent together. It is perfect for planning outings, dinners, sightseeing, little romantic escapades around the park…because you have such little time together and because it probably won’t be an every-other-week thing (though lucky you if this is the case!), you are less likely to argue and just focus on having a good time. The hardest part about this will be saying goodbye, but it is in that moment that you will realize again just how important they are to you and why you need to keep going.
These little tips combined with patience and will should keep you two busy for a long while. Christmas is coming up, so is his birthday, and what about random presents? I’m cooking up a little list of creative gift ideas for LDR couples out there; should be fun so watch out for it, counts for overseas friends too!
Want to remember why you decided to go for long distance in the first place? Go back to Surviving LDR Part I!
Do you find yourself sitting on top of your luggage so you can get it to zip shut, only to find you forgot to put your socks in? And what about all the annoying chargers for all our nifty gadgets? For the crowded-closet owners out there: packing is not easy! Especially if your trip is only a few days long. Here’s how to narrow it down to the essentials!
- Define categories
Generally your stuff will/can fit in the following: outfits, shoes, toiletry & makeup, intimates & pj’s, technology, and entertainment. Make a list!
Outfits & Shoes
Depending on the number of days you are going to be away and your destination, you’ll need different outfits. I will be going away for five days, so I will think up at least six outfits, just in case one doesn’t work out or I change my mind. It usually goes a little something like:
- Two ‘day’ outfits
- Two night outfits
- A fancy outfit
- An extra day-to-night outfit
This is for going to the UK where I will be mostly dwelling within cities, but of course if I were going to backpack around China my outfit range would obviously differ! Ideally all day outfits would easily transition from day to night, just because I am usually in some sort of time crunch and going back to change isn’t always an option! Every two outfits share a piece, that way my two day outfits may include the same jeans but two different tops and accessories. So you have twice the options available but only have to carry half the volume.
Then of course, one must always carry a fancy option (I recommend two) for unexpected party invites, or for when you’re walking around and spot the perfect restaurant for a romantic dinner. Or maybe just to wear around the hotel room with your friends and have a vogue photoshoot à la GaGa. Whichever the case, you most definitely want to have a non-jeans option for these.
I realize shoes are part of an outfit, but the reason I separated them is because when you are tight for space, you will have to sacrifice your delicious shoe collection in favor of a chosen few. I usually pick:
- A pair of shoes that go with everything, that can be dressed up or down, like flats
- A pair of statement heels for my fancy look
- A pair of comfortable walking shoes (this does not immediately equal sneakers. In fact I own many super comfortable flats, good enough for walking! Converse might do the trick.)
Toiletry & makeup
Here’s a part I struggle with a lot; all the pots and bottles take so much space! I usually narrow down the bare essentials that I need to keep my face clean and moisturized, and then I usually include most of my makeup because I am indecisive and you never know when you might use that red again! Items that always make it: mascara, concealer and lipgloss. If you have a huge bottle of, say, toner, you can buy those cheap little bottles from any drugstore and fill them up instead of carrying the whole thing around. I like to do this with perfume as well, but mostly because I’m paranoid that somehow the bottle will smash and everything will be ruined. Which is quite possible actually.
Intimates & pj’s
This is quite straightforward, but I will say it anyway. It is very wise to bring more underwear than the number of days you will be away for. I like to put these in little ziplock bags so that they aren’t all over the place. With pj’s, I usually go for a comfy top and underwear (^_^). Also, very important: don’t forget to bring an extra plastic bag for all your dirty laundry.
Technology
Ah, technology! Yes. All those beautifully shiny electronic devices, and all of their annoying, tangle-prone chargers and computer adapters and whatever else they may come with. Sounds like a hassle, but it can be easy! For each charger (/whatever else), roll the cable around the main body and make sure it stays in place by tying a rubber band around. Then just stick them all in a bag!
Entertainment
Any type of personal music device and reading material or laptop should go in your hand bag/luggage, for two main reasons: a) for easy reach while you’re waiting around the airport and while you’re on the plane, and b) so that, in the event that your checked in luggage goes missing, you at least have the items that are hard to replace. I do this with all of my earrings as well, because they are irreplaceable as my collection is made up of pieces from everywhere I’ve been.
- Choosing bags/suitcases
If you have more than one piece of luggage at home, choose the one that will give you the least hassle when packing up: Does it have extra pockets? Does it expand in case you decide to bring back some goodies from your trip? Does it have wheels (very important for me)? Will it fall apart/unzip/break as soon as one of those buff luggage men throw it on the conveyor? These may sound stupid but trust me, they are important questions! Also, make sure you identify your bag not only with a personal card but also make it easily visible so you can grab it as soon as you see it and go! This will remove any confusion or the surprise that you have taken someone else’s stuff.
- Extras
Remember to carry some feminine hygiene products, you know, just in case! Pack any meds you currently take or might need, like, say, some Pepto. Having curry in India might be lovely, but after five days straight it may not be. Most of all, remember to bear in mind all the (sometimes ridiculous) carryon measures! That means no liquids, lotions or sharp items (tweezers, razors or nail files). It definitely is not fun to have your bag opened up and rummaged through because you forgot about your tweezers!
There you have it! I do this every time I travel and it works. Maybe it’s a bit OTP, but it’s nice to be prepared when you’re away from home :)
Nothing turns me off more than a spelling mistake or a typo. When I seek someone’s writing, be it on the web, newspapers or books, I expect that any spelling errors have been taken care of prior to publishing. When this doesn’t happen, it makes me question the person’s credibility. Too harsh? Maybe. But just think – if this person is being so careless with their writing, why should I believe they are any different regarding their work/business/whatever?
I don’t know if it has been by coincidence, but today alone I have spotted spelling mistakes from three different sources: a newspaper wrote down Nicolas Narkozy as France’s president, a business tried to lure me into their strategy by confusing “you’re” with “your”, and a magazine mentioned a band – Death Cub For Cutie – in their “most listened to” page. Needless to say I was not impressed; in the case of the business, I clicked away from the page, and as for the other two – they were put down, left somewhere in the gigantic black hole that is my university hallway.
How can we avoid such awful, silly (and often embarrassing) mistakes?
- Pay attention while you’re actually writing/typing, so that spelling errors are kept to a minimum
- After adding a section of text, re-read the previous section. Kill two birds with one stone: check the flow of your writing AND fix any spelling mistakes!
- Try to get someone else to take a peek at it – we’re often so consumed in our work that we overlook tiny (and sometimes not so tiny) mistakes
- Take the time to read your work at least once before you submit/publish/print it!
- Do not rely on spell-checkers! A spell checker knows that “your” and “you’re” are both words, and not all of them can tell whether you’re using them right! (Ditto for their v.s they’re, then v.s than, bare v.s bear…)
- When in doubt…use the dictionary! Even simply typing the word into Google will suffice
- Make a list of words you commonly misspell – for each time you misspell a word, put a tally next to it
- READ! Devour any form of writing you have around you – books, magazines, newspapers, blogs, subtitles! (Subtitles are actually a great way to improve on a foreign language)
Check out Write Better English’s How to Improve Your Spelling: Techniques That Work.
Writing to communicate is no different than speaking; if anything, writing is a guide for speaking, but that’s another story. Any grammar and/or spelling mistakes need to be looked to before publishing. It is your (and perhaps your company’s) image that will suffer if you let these slip.
What do you need to focus on to grow as a person? Here is a very simple exercise that will help you visualize this.
(save this & print!)
- Click the above image to save it and get started, or simply take a look and copy the asterisk & headings down on your own paper.
- Rate each area of your life on a 1-10 scale (center being 0, the edge being 10) by placing a dot along its corresponding line.
- Next, connect the dots with a black pen.
- Now reevaluate your situation and mark (on a scale from 1-10) where you’d like each area to be. Connect these new dots with a red pen.
Take a look! The bigger or “rounder” your wheel is, the more satisfied you are with your life. Compare the black area with the red area and see how close they are. If there is a large gap between the two, try to think of why that is and which steps you can take to push the black area closer to the red area.
I did this exercise with a friend of mine while I was going through a bit of a rut in Beijing, and it helped me to actually see these on paper. I hope it helps you guys as well ♥
The busier I am the easier it is to multitask, the easier it is to get into the rhythm of things. Even on the busiest days I can always find a way to squeeze in little extra somethings that always seem to pop up (& of course there is always time for endless internet surfing and other pleasures in life!)
All that is well and nice, but sometimes while my mind wants to keep going and reading, writing, watching the US Open as well as stuffing my face with delicious apple tarts, my body insists on weighing my eyelids shut. What to do? Listen, of course! Listening to your body is about the best advice you should ever follow. When you’re thirsty, you drink, when you’re hungry you eat, so why is sleeping any different? The key is finding a golden mean between mind & body – here’s what I do to fit everything in a day, including rest:
- First I (dun dun dun!) make a list of everything I need to get done in the day. I carry it around in my bag to add/cross things off.
- Nap! And by nap I don’t mean a 30-minute power nap, I mean a full 2 hour nap. (Power naps are like lights. Turning off a light and turning it back on wastes more energy than simply leaving the light on because the circuit has to start up again. Taking a power nap means you fall into a deep sleep and just as your body is beginning to rest you have to wake up again. This would mean a big fail, as you are trying to re-energize to be able to finish everything you have set for the day. The best thing to do is to take a long nap, wake up completely refreshed and ready to fnish everything!)
- Take a quick hot shower – yes, hot! Hot water will relax you, and as you step outside the contrast with the cool morning air is sure to wake you up a bit.
- The rest of it just involves a lot of concentrating, apple/strawberry/peach tarts, coffee and good music :)
Music that gets me going: MSTRKRFT, N*E*R*D, LCD Soundsystem, Jimi Hendrix and some Guns N’ Roses are always favs!
So you’ve decided to go long distance; the bothers and pain of your s.o’s absence is worth it and trust rules above all in your relationship. (Not sure whether to take the leap? Consider these and think about it!) That is absolutely great, but it doesn’t mean it will be easy. In fact it won’t be and you will be miserable at times. Luckily, there are ways to endure this situation and actually sprinkle bits of amazing along the way. Here are some ideas to brave distance:
