Step Seven: Less is More

“Less is more”, from Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, was one of the slogans on my posters the year I ran for Secretary of Advertising many, many moons ago in highschool. I thought it was to the point and it let my design speak for itself. Unfortunately I don’t think many people agreed — I didn’t get it, BUT! that is not the point. (I later realized it was a slogan for a whitening cream in Hong Kong, so I guess I wasn’t alone in thought!)

I still stand by it; sometimes you just need to cut back and squeeze the juice out of simplicity for sheer enjoyment. Think quality, use and value. It’s like I’d rather have one pair of Louboutin peep toes than a collection of mediocre pumps.

How many times have you opened a drawer and gasped at the sight of an item as though you had only just discovered it, but really it was in there since, well, forever? YEAH. Same goes for purses, or pockets, closets and the scary space under your bed.

In short: you own way more than what you need. Of course there are wants we have lying around the house, but how many of those are just taking up space and interrupting the energy flow in your home?

Declutter your space

Less clothes. If you are like me, you probably have a hard time closing your closet doors and when it comes down to it, you only wear about 30% of what’s in there. So clear it all out: if it’s too old, worn or still has the pricetag on — out it goes. Donate it/throw it out.

Focus on having one of everything first; a good quality item rather than a bunch of half priced clones. Build your wardrobe so that you can mix and match almost everything, with a few key pieces that stand on their own and you’ll be good to go!

Stay away from sales, as they’ll entice you and you’ll only end up with something useless ‘because it was cheap.’

For inspiration: The Uniform Project, A Practical Guide to Owning Fewer Clothing

Less gadgets. One of the reasons I want the iPhone 4 in my life is because it’s like carrying all your gadgets in one. When I have to carry more than three separate techie gadgets — I don’t like it. Think of what you use most. Obviously if photography is your thing, you aren’t going to settle for the iPhone’s built-in camera no matter how powerful it is. The less your life is run my technology the better. So you have a perfectly fine working computer. Do you need an iPad? No. Also remember all these gadgets come with a set of cables/ports/batteries/stands…keep it simple!

“The things you own end up owning you.” — Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Less beauty products. Some of us have developed a tiny makeup obsession, so that walking into any makeup store every product looks like a giant candy waiting to be devoured. And so we buy it, even if the shade is 98.99% the same plum we bought last week (this one is a shimmer so it’s allowwed!) The quickest way to fix this: take part in Project 10 Pan: do not buy a new product until you have used up 10 of the same thing! And just as a general rule, use up everything you buy.

Less *gasp!* books/magazines. Magazines and books take a lot of space and are especially annoying when moving houses. If Kindle types are not for you, simply go through all your books and donate/sell any which you know you will never re-read. There’s no point in keeping those around. Same with magazines!

For more: 101 Physical Things That Can Be Reduced in Your Home

Declutter your mind & heart

Invest energy in the right things. When you’re in highschool you think being Secretary of Advertising is incredibly important, as are all grades so you spend weeks studying for your math final only to just pass by a few percent. Then when you’re out of it you realize how silly it was to put so much of your energy on something that you barely even remember today. When it comes down to it, are you worrying about things that matter? People matter, your health and happiness matter. We need to learn to be selective and to not sweat the little stuff.

Don’t pick up any rocks. When we’re in an argument or we’re insulted, we immediately accept the insult as though it were a bag of rocks with our name on it. Nobody said it was for us to pick up, but we pick it up anyway and lug it around, angry and frustrated. Next time, just don’t. Just because it has your name on it doesn’t mean you have to pick it up. Simply leave it there and move on.

Leave unhealthy relationships of any kind. What do you value in your relationships? Why is your best friend the best? Once you know this, you’ll know who is adding value to your life and who isn’t. Feel free to disconnect from energy vamps, rude and toxic people if they are only detiriorating you and the life you want for yourself. Period!

“Simplicity, clarity, singleness: these are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy.” — Richard Halloway

Enjoy the simple things. A picnic at night, a quick swim in the sea, a walk in the park. Go out and enjoy everything that’s already out there, and drop the mindset that you need to buy this and that in order to be able to do whatever. After all, you’ve been cutting back on so many material things that you’ll have enough money to spare for nice meals out, or travelling!

The less you have, the less you have to worry about; the less time you need to spend maintaining things; the less things you’ll feel like you NEED or even want; the less space you need to keep it all together; the more you can enjoy everything else not attached to a material thing! It’s funny how all this less can equal so much gain.

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” — Socrates, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

What kind of things will you be eliminating to declutter your life? Any tips for us minimalism beginners?

How To Approach Anyone

approach anyone - the devil wears prada

Often we are under the impression that certain people are superior, unreachable. We forget that we are all humans, each with our own faults and strengths, so when it comes to trying to approach said holier individuals we crumble under nerves and fear of rejection and ridicule. It’s a self preservation thing, and we all do it!

So how do you approach these people, break the ice and hold a conversation without feeling like a fool/embarrassed/inadequate/Bridget Jones?

Your opening line

First and foremost, find something to say. Who is this person? What may you have in common? For one, you’re in the same place. Maybe you both know the host, or you both opted for the assorted sushi instead of the mini burgers. Whatever it is, make sure you say it like you mean it.

The art of smiling

Don’t give your smile away right off the bat. After your initial brief introduction, wait a moment and take in the situation. Allow them to do the same and to reply — even if it’s just a “Hi”. Then flash your warmest, brightest smile at them.  It will make them feel acknowledged, like you genuinely want to stick around even if it means getting through a bit of painful small talk first.

Eye contact

Look them straight in the eye as you speak. Not only does it show respect, it shows you’re both on the same level. You have something to say and they want to listen.

Converse

Remember that you are holding a conversation, which means they should be doing some of the talking too! Be interested in what they say and ask pertinent questions (only if you are actually interested in knowing the answer!). Don’t get into heavy political debates; touch lightly on any subject that comes up while still letting your personality show through of course! If you want to win them instantly, all you have to do is talk about their favorite subject: THEM! Start with that ;)

Just remember to be your usual amazing self, that is always most important!

How would you approach someone that slightly intimidates you?

How to Stay Afloat When Everyone’s Trying to Pull You Down

fields

Picture success. Your dreams coming true, small changes in the world like a clockwork shifting so that things finally fall into place for you. Maybe you’ve won the lottery, or you’ll be offered an amazing opportunity.

Those sweet, sweet moments will inevitably be accompanied by a few bitter souls who feel the need to inform you that it “isn’t that amazing”, or that they’ve “already been there” or “they’re past that stage”, whatever that all means. As always, our favorite jealousy cliché is unfortunately ever present.

It’s something about self esteem — we do whatever it takes to preserve it, and, as it goes, haters will always hate. They’re not hurting your self esteem, they’re trying to help theirs by stepping over you. It becomes tiring because some of these people just keep on pushing it to get some sort of validation, and it takes a lot of patience to dismiss them and to stay classy while you’re at it!

  1. It doesn’t matter if they’ve had something similar happen before with bad results because guess what — they’re not you! They may not possess the same psychological tools to confront difficult situations, so no matter how similar the experience, you’ll be going about it differently.
  2. Obviously the experience will never be exact because your situation is not the same either! Just because they failed doesn’t mean you will. The fact that anyone would try to connect their failures to you alone is a big warning sign.
  3. Be realistic and basically take everyone’s input (both positive and negative) with a grain of salt. Stay grounded.
  4. Don’t spend too much time analyzing what everyone says, as that is energy you’ll need to put into your plans and dreams and success.
  5. Judge the opportunity/success as it applies to you. If this opportunity or event is what success is for you, who is anyone else to say that it’s not enough? Things in life will only have the value you give them.
  6. On a similar note, a small setback will only be as big as you allow it to be. Be wary of whose “advice” you heed.  It’s one thing to give advice and it’s a whole other thing to try to close doors. If any doors need to be closed, make sure you’re the one doing the closing.
  7. Keep your focus. After all it’s your life and you’re choosing how to live it every second. If everything you do is based on someone else’s judgement, then isn’t that a bit like living their life?
  8. Don’t give out too many details about your projects, what you hope to get from this amazing opportunity etc. This will only invite people to judge and criticize. Everyone seems to feel entitled to comment on everyone’s life nowadays, eh? The more you keep to yourself, the less they’ll be able to discuss.
  9. That said, know who you can trust. Make these people your allies, and go to them in times of doubt. As with anything else in life, nobody can pull through entirely on their own. We are social beings and as such we need a good support system sometimes too!
  10. Go for it. If it’s what you want, if the curiosity is killing you, if you just want to take a risk, then do it. You can be the judge of whether or not it was the right choice yourself.

So sugardrop, what do you do to stay afloat when everyone seems to be trying to drown you?

P.S — Sorry for my absence! I’ve begun working six days a week so it’s taking a little while to adjust. But I haven’t forgotten you all ;)!

Working Backwards to Achieve Your Goals

cute kitty

When coming up with an action plan to reach our goals, it’s likely that we will adopt a logical start to finish approach; after identifying our ultimate goal, we’ll start from our current situation and list the steps necessary to get to it. What about trying it from end to start? It hardly seems like the most reasonable option, but it’s a process that can give you a different perspective on what you need to get done.

  1. Identify your ultimate objective. Be as specific as you’d like.
  2. Identify the step that would immediately precede you successfully ataining said objective.
  3. List out all the steps before that.

Working this way has one key advantage:  from the beginning you are visualizing the end goal. Everything you list going from point B to point A will encompass that final vision. Reading over your action plan will be no different than reading the start to finish approach, but it is the process that might help you think of other possible milestones/obstacles to overcome that a lineal way of thinking might not! I’ve done this for my next big goal and although it’s been a bit harder to wrap my head around it’s proven useful.

Some other tips to help you:

  • Regardless of your preferred process, remember to always leave room for the unexpected! Think of obstacles that might pop up during the way and how you might work your way around/through them.
  • Write active and positive affirmations; begin each step with “By… I will have completed…” or “By… I will… “.
  • Don’t skip over any steps, no matter how little they seem! Noting every step of the way will only simplify your life. Maybe there is someone that can help you with a particular bit — write down the need to contact them! Will it be an email? A call? What will you say? All of these things matter.
  • Think of the gains and losses you might encounter.
  • Keep your strengths in mind, and work them into your action plan.
  • Be realistic and honest with yourself! Don’t be impatient; allow yourself enough time to get to every step.

I’ve just planned out my biggest goal to date, and although it wasn’t easy, it was exciting AND scary to think about! Ch-ch-ch-ch-changessss…! If you’re serious about something, put good thought to it and then just go for it!

What are your goal-setting tips? Do you tend to act on impulse or think things through when it comes to big decisions? I’d love to know!

Step Three: Spending Wisely

money

So money doesn’t equal happiness, but it definitely helps! Whether you are a student, or the economy has got you by the throat, or you’d just like to have more freedom to splurge on certain things (like shoes), you must learn the art of budgeting. Of course this varies from person to person, so you’ll have to develop your own plan. Some tips to get you started:

Shopping for clothes

  • Always, ALWAYS try it on. It may not fit you like it does the mannequin. If after trying it on you’re still not sure, drop it. If there is ever any doubt, don’t buy it!
  • Try shopping by outfit. If I see an outfit online that I like, I have no shame in printing it out and taking it in my bag to recreate it. Same goes with magazines! Using something like Polyvore can help you visualize how many outfits can be created around a single piece — use it to your advantage. You can also look for pieces you already own to see how you could spice them up and breathe new life into them.
  • Don’t buy incredibly trendy things. One or two are fine, but if your entire wardrobe consists of a trend, you might find yourself needing an entire new one come next season. Have a variety of classic pieces, basics, and trendy.
  • Know when sales begin and show up bright and early to get the goods! It is terryfying how a €10 dress was €50 just two weeks earlier! Be savvy and quick, and you’ll get all those beautiful clothes for half the price.
  • That said, just because something is €3 doesn’t mean you should buy it. For me, when it comes to shoes, coats and makeup, spending more goes a long way. It’s the same with clothes, but sometimes the price/quality ratio doesn’t match and so you’ll have a cheap looking dress with a €60 pricetag. It’s a lot of shopping around and trying things out!

Out and about

  • When buying groceries make sure you are neither stuffed nor hungry. Otherwise you will either miss out things you need or buy the entire cookie aisle. Stick to a list and everything will be under control. Also don’t shun the generic brands! Try them out once or twice and you’ll find that sometimes they’re as good, if not better, than popular brands. One of my favorite things in the world is yoghurt; my supermarket has a nice selection so I always try different ones. I used to stick to Danone, but decided to try a more generic brand that costs half the price…turns out they are creamier and more true to the fruit they’re supposed to taste like.
  • If you are a student, take advantage of student discounts. Always have your student card ready and don’t be afraid to ask if you can use it!
  • Try to cut back on dining out, but if you MUST (like me), then explore your city and find small restaurants. Often the coziest places are hidden away in a little corner and aren’t as expensive. Though sometimes they can turn out to be even more expensive, so just make sure you take a look at the menu before you sit down!

Saving & making extra money

  • Alright, here’s a very washed out and typical one: money jars. You know how there are always those annoying little coins rolling around the house? Drop them into a jar. Group them according to amount, and once you have round quantities off to the bank you go to have them exchanged! You’ll be amazed at how much money comes out of those little ones.
  • Seriously consider whether there are any expensive habits you could cut down on, like eating out, smoking, dying your hair…
  • Don’t use credit cards. Just don’t. Stick to cash or for bigger purchases use your debit card. That way you’ll never be worrying about anything you have to pay off later.
  • Sell your things. If you don’t use it, didn’t even remember you had it, don’t like it — sell it!
  • If you don’t work a 9-5 job/are a student, see how you can use your skills for some freelance work. Maybe you can tutor, babysit, sell art prints, design posters for local businesses…who knows!

I’ve already made a plan for myself, taking all of these into account. It’ll be hard to give up some things but it really helps you figure out where it’s best to put your money! I hope you guys give it a try, and let me know how it goes?

That said, what other tips do you guys have for saving up, making some extra money and just generally spending wisely?