Posted by Luana | 11 Comments

Dealing With Nerves

Sweaty palms, racing heart, a little tug at the pit of your stomach…Nerves are physiological responses in anticipation of a certain outcome or situation.  How do you guys deal with them? They can be more or less intense depending on your personality and the type of situation; maybe you’re up for a huge speech, or you’re sitting by the phone to see if you got that job. I’m waiting for some pretty big news today, and while the event isn’t flashing constantly in my mind, it does make me nervous when I think about it.

Anticipating an outcome
If you crashed your dad’s car, you’ll be nervous as you walk through the door because you are anticipating that he will get angry. If you’re about to give a speech, you’ll be nervous that people won’t respond well to it or you’ll say something ridiculous and embarrass yourself. These thoughts are mental barriers we set up, and we get nervous as we find them hard to overcome; we anticipate a negative outcome even if there is the possibility of a positive one (for instance, job interviews). I don’t think there’s a surefire way to ‘overcome’ nerves, but there are ways to make them less intense.

When public speaking
This is probably one of the number one nerve-wracking situations for many. You’re about to give a speech to your entire class; everyone will be silent and the lights will catch any signs of nervousness. Generally you become more aware of your mannerisms because you feel observed, which will cause you to sway, or wonder where your hands should go, or whether you’re talking loud enough. To cope a little:

• Make sure you know what you’re going to say. Practice your speech out loud over and over like your life depends on it, changing things around a bit each time so that in case your PowerPoint messes up you know where to pick up the slack.
• Use an audience. Grab your parents, siblings or grandparents.
• Before the event (or class) begins, try standing around the front as people take their seats. This will help you familiarize with the space so that you can move around more freely.
• Take a deep breath as you get ready to say your first words. Start with a strong voice so you can follow in the same pattern. Make the audience believe in what you’re saying.
• Speak as though you were conversing; logical, bite sized sequence of events using natural language (not colloquial, but not extremely technical — specific enough to the subject area but easy enough that everyone understands.)
• Be interested in what you’re saying and you’ll bring your audience with you; rather than focusing on whether or not you said something right, they’ll be trying to grasp concepts and put ideas together.
• Once you’re done, think ‘that wasn’t so hard’. Remember this moment for your next speech!

When doing something for the first time
Skydiving. All your friends seem to have done it and they won’t stop raving about how amazing it is. If you’re deathly afraid of heights (like me), no amount of convincing will work on you; however if you’re naturally curious (though not exactly an adventure seeker) you might find yourself wanting to try this out. It’s your first time jumping off a plane though, and you are —with reason— scared as hell. In this case:

• Let it be known that you are nervous as hell. Communicate it to your friends who have done it, to the instructor and to the pilot if he’s around. You’ll get a biased response, but in this case you need all the positive feedback you can get: “It’s nothing!”, “You’re more likely to die from being struck by lightning”, “Nobody’s died from it — yet!”. You’ll still be scared as hell, but running these through your mind will help ease the tension (somewhat)
• Know how to get out of it in case of an emergency. In skydiving, if your chute doesn’t open you might be in big trouble (that’s probably an understatement.) But say you’ve decided to go rock climbing and get stuck somewhere. Make sure you know what you need to do to get out!
• Think about the risk and weigh it against the benefits. If it’s your first time asking someone out, think of the possible consequences. Worst case scenario: you’ll be rejected. Will you die? No. Will you be hurt? Most likely. But if they say yes, will it be the best decision you ever made? Then go for it.

When taking an exam
You have a huge final on Monday. It will determine whether or not you graduate, and again, you are nervous as hell.

• Nerves will only block your mind, and in this case they will arise from uncertainty. So you need to start by making sure you understand the material. Reading over your notes 15 times will not help if you still don’t understand how protein synthesis works. Break down the information until you understand it, and then connect ideas and new concepts; this way, even if you don’t remember minute details in the happenings, you’ll still be able to tell the whole story.
• EAT! I used to think this was a silly cliche, but it kind of seems obvious that if energy is required to process thoughts, and energy comes from food, then eating is a smart choice. Glucose is especially important in brain processes and is used up faster in the brain than anywhere else in the body. So have a hearty breakfast and a chocolate bar on your way to the exam and get thinking!
• Right before the exam, if you really feel there’s so much information in your brain that it might fall out, jot it all down on the margins before you even look at the questions. This way your thoughts won’t be tainted by tricky wordings and you can refer back to them if they come up.
• Divide your time, otherwise you might find yourself chewing away at your pencil until you realize time’s almost up. If it takes more than 5 minutes, leave it for later and move on.
• Read everything twice. Once you’ve answered, read over everything once more. Make sure you haven’t been tricked and that you actually answered the question! Nerves can make you read words that aren’t there, turn negative numbers into positives or even make you think that the entire question is a trick.
• When you come out, DON’T talk about the answers with your peers!! Everyone does this, it’s natural, we want to know how we did compared to the rest of the class and knowing that someone else put a for the first question makes us feel more secure. But if you find that your answers are completely different to everyone’s you’re likely to think you probably failed, when sometimes it may mean that you were the only one to actually answer right. Then you’ll just be thinking about it and feeling terrible until the official results come out.

When approaching someone
A lot of times we want to complain, or ask someone for directions, or just talk in a crowded cocktail party. For some reason we are embarrassed, and can’t bring ourselves to do it.

• Firstly, remember people are only fellow human beings. They’ve also needed help at some point or wanted to complain that the fries are too salty. If you are nice about it there’s no reason why they won’t help you out.
• Don’t over-think it. You’re at some event for a book that just launched and you find yourself alone. Instead of hanging over by the punch, go over to someone else. It may be easier to break the ice with someone who is also alone, or maybe two people. I don’t know about you, but if I’m also roaming around alone and someone comes up to me, I’ll be more thankful than annoyed.
• Classic advice: if you want to be interesting, be interested. Ask genuine questions, reply with personal experiences or simply comment a bit on their answer.
• Tip: if you aren’t speaking in your first language and can’t find a crucial word, say it fast in your own language. This way, the op will think they either misunderstood or don’t know the word. At the risk of sounding stupid, it is unlikely that they’ll ask you what it means, but if they do, just innocently say it again (in your language) and tell them that’s how you say it in your country.

When making an important call
I’m not a phone person; I don’t even like calling for pizza, but sometimes you can’t avoid it.

• If you have to call someone important, or have something important to say but know your nerves will get in the way, the best thing to do is to write down key points you want to touch upon. Keep them in sight as you’re talking to the person. Before you dial, rehearse how you’ll greet them and lead into the conversation. The good thing about phones is the other person won’t see your panicked face, or your pacing back and forth as you try to calm the nerves.

In the end, it all comes down to feeling under prepared (and therefore less confident) for a certain situation; prepare well and visualize success. Think of the moment the struggle is done and what you can gain from it. Life goes on whether you want it to or not, and even if it doesn’t end up being what you had envisioned it to be, it’ll still be Friday, and Saturday, and Sunday. By Monday you will barely remember the feeling, so get over it and try again!

What makes you nervous and how do you cope? Any strategies to help us calm down in the face of fear?

Posted by Luana | Add a Comment

How To Wear Prints

Not only is it the Chinese Year of the Tiger, it is also the year of prints! Animal prints, floral patterns and geometric shapes will define S/S10. Excited? Prints are nothing new, however, and we all know there is a fine line between sex kitten and…tacky. So if trends are your thing, read on before you stock up on this one!

The Golden Rule: less is more

• An entire leopard print outfit is overkill. I don’t think I need to elaborate on this!
• Stick to one print and keep the rest of the outfit plain so that the piece stands out.

Start small

• If you’re not sure about the whole leopard or zebra thing, try going for accessories first. I’m obsessed with scarves and cardigans right now, and those are always safe options to start with! Bags and belts can be cute as well, but watch out for cheap looking ones.
• Find a cute wallet in a floral pattern, a head band, or go for some tights! I love floral pattern tights but unfortunately doubt I could pull them off. Trying couldn’t hurt anyone though, right?
• Bold square bangles or triangle necklaces (extra points if they’re wooden!) can help pull the earthy-Tiger Lily look together.

Flatter your shape

• Choose prints that are moderate in size (particularly  in the floral department); not too big or too small, as these will end up making you look bigger than you actually are.

What do you guys think? Will prints be making their way into your closet?

Posted by Luana | 4 Comments

How To Avoid Looking Like a Tourist

Hi lovelies! How is everyone and what have I missed?
Barcelona + Tom = amazing weekend! It was incredibly windy and cold (as opposed to last week’s 16 degrees!) so we were wrapped up and kept walking into shops and cafes just to keep warm. The city was beautiful, though, so it was all worth it. I hadn’t had a sore throat in a while, so of course my body decided this would be the best time to act up, but Tom is a sweetheart and got me some hot chocolate before bed and lemons in the morning so our Valentine’s was saved! We mostly spent it eating and in the metro talking about important things like the soul/body division and space. It was perfect.

So being a tourist for the weekend made me realize the importance of not looking like one; we all know pointing upwards every few meters and wearing a camera around our necks are obvious no-nos, but having a huge sign in red print that reads ‘I’m a tourist — come get me’ may lie in the subtleties. Here’s how to avoid that and a few tips to keep in mind while you’re out exploring the world:

• Know where you’re going. Metro stations you need to get off on, bus numbers and relevant street names.
• If you must check your map, do it in a cafe or inside a shop.
• Bring only the cash you’ll need for the day, preferably in small bills (seems simple enough, but I’ve seen a couple of people flashing big bills around! The reason they are so noticeable is because not many people walk around with them…And they tend to come in pretty colors.)
• Keep change and metro/bus tickets separate from your wallet so you don’t have to keep reaching for it.
• Dress as you would at home, keeping in mind the local weather. Unless of course, you’re going on a Safari across India or something that would require shorts or hiking gear. Keep in mind dress codes you might have to adhere to depending on the culture you’re visiting. *There seems to be a common misconception that Southern Europe (France, Spain, Italy) are always warm and sunny year-round. This is only really true in the summer months, but even then there are alternatives to wearing shorts and sandals: skirts and dresses for women, light pants for men, stay away from synthetic fibers and you’re good to go!
• Pay attention to your choice of bag — big sporty bags are usually a good sign you’re a tourist.
• Be wary of people who stop you for help/conversation/etc in the middle of the street; just keep walking and shake your head in a “No, sorry” motion.
• Look for street names subtly, definitely not pointing or straining to look upward for them!
• Keep your camera in a regular bag or purse, avoiding camera bags and backpacks! While taking a photo, do hang it around your neck so that nobody can snatch it from you. But as soon as you snap just put it back in there.
• Be polite — research local customs before your trip and if possible learn a few keywords in the local language; most people try to help out someone making the effort to communicate in their language.
• If you want to experience the authentic local culture, stray away from tour guide books and guided tours and ask at your hotel lobby (or in any shop) what areas of the city might be interesting for you to check out.

The point isn’t to blend in completely, but to avoid becoming an easy target for savvy local robbers. Always keep an eye out and notice your surroundings!

Posted by Luana | 13 Comments

How to Eat Tricky Foods

At some point or other we’ve come across foods that appear to be incredibly delicious, but decide to take a pass in case we make a fool out of ourselves trying to eat them properly. Such tricky foods like to make an appearance at fancy dinners, or your first date, when it’s important to let your gracefulness shine through. Next time you have a scary dish staring you in the face, try to keep these things in mind:

When eating…

Lobster
It’s best to put away any jewelry and make sure a napkin is nearby before starting with this guy!

• Some people leave this for later, but if you are super hungry and need a little taste before all the hard work ahead, start by gently twisting the legs to remove them. Suck the meat out out as you would though a straw.

The Claws

• Twist off the two claws at the first joint. Separate the two parts of the claw and remove the meat from the smaller part with a seafood fork/your finger.
• Use the cracker provided to crack the tips of the claws. With your forefinger (or pinky finger if your fingers are a bit chubby, like mine), push the meat from the cracked tip through the larger opening.
• Dip into delicious buttery sauce.

The Tail

• To separate the tail, hold it with one hand and the body with the other, and twist.
• Remove the small “flippers” from the end, which you can also eat.
• With your fingers, push into the end of the tail where the flippers had been attached, and push out the tail meat through the larger opening.
• Peel off the top of the tail and remove the digestive organs before you eat the meat!

Dip your hands in the lemony sauce, dry with napkin and continue with your meal.

Crab

• Crabs are significantly less work than lobsters. Simply remove the legs and suck their meat, as you would with the lobster’s.
• Next, crack the shell open and remove the meat with a fork. Enjoy!

Shrimp
Usually, in a fancy dinner your shrimp may come peeled with the tail attached; in this case, hold it by the tail with your fingers and eat. In some places, like here in Spain, it is normal for you to have to do all the peeling. In my opinion it tastes better this way! In this case:

• Start by gently twisting the head off from the body. Some people like to suck this part; I’m not such a fan.
• Remove the small legs by pulling on them. This will tear the bottom part of the body, which will make it easy to peel off the shell.
• Leave the tail so that you can hold it. Dip it in the sauce and eat!

Sushi

• Wash your hands with the warm towel provided.
• Put a little bit of soy sauce in the small dish, but don’t fill it to the brim! You may add wasabi and mix it in, but sushi usually contains a little bit already so it isn’t necessary if you don’t want it to be too strong.
• When eating hand-pressed sushi (nigiri-zushi), pick up one piece with your index and middle finger and put your index finger on top. Dip the fish side into the soy sauce, NOT the rice as it will fall apart! Bite in half, and dip again into sauce before you finish it.
• For hand-rolled sushi (maki-zushi), dip into soy sauce with chopsticks and eat in one bite.
• Optional: eat pieces of ginger in between to refresh your palate and enhance the flavor!

Chicken Wings
This video explains it best!

Olives
They may not seem as scary or complicated as these others, but still there is a simple etiquette to be followed when eating olives.

• As hors d’oeuvres (or appetizers) it’s alright to eat them with your hands. Stuffed olives are usually most common, but still watch out for the “bone”!
• In a salad or part of a dish, just eat with a fork as you would everything else.
• In a cocktail, drink the contents first and then tip the glass back so the olive falls into your mouth.

Unfortunately there is no graceful way to eat burritos, tacos, ribs or large burgers.

What are your tips for eating tricky foods?

Posted by Luana | 7 Comments

Party Right!

To party

• Know where you’re going and assess the situation; dress accordingly (seemingly straightforward, but not.) Six inch heels might not be the best choice for dancing the night away but could look cute for a lounge bar kind of atmosphere. It would also be useful to estimate your chances of drinking one too many Margaritas and tripping over those shoes…trust me on that one.
• Coat-check before you run to the bar to make sure your valuables are safe.
• Hydrate in between drinks. Be wary of sneaky cocktails whose sugary taste conceals the effectsof alcohol.
• Stay classy ladies. If you’re wearing a skirt or dress, make sure it doesn’t ride up! Same with tops that could potentially slip down…
• For winter: layers. For summer: keep a cardigan or thin jacket around.
• If you are a smoker, please watch where you’re pointing your cigarette as you’re squeezing through the crowd; cigarette burns have ruined many a pair of tights, and their scars are not pretty either.
• Sing as loud as you want, even if you can’t sing. If you don’t know the lyrics it might be OK to just dance instead ;)
• For dancing on tables or chairs, get a group of friends to go for it for optimal fun.
• If the place is so packed that you can barely move, it might be safer to stick to the sides (as opposed to the middle of the dancefloor) just in case. Call me paranoid, but if there’s a reason to run, I’ll be the first one out!

In your bag

• Makeup/hand wipes for runny makeup.
• Mascara & eyeliner to touch up; don’t bother with eyeshadow.
• Mint gum for any lingering alcohol breath.
• Flats to replace heels in case of unbearable pain.
• Extra coins for the metro/bus so you don’t have to take your pass/card/ticket everywhere.
• Cocolate just in case you get the munchies on your way home. Candy works too.

If you wait ’til the metro opens to go home

• Keep a cardigan or sweater to wear over (of course there’s no need to worry about this in winter as you’ll have a coat to hide your party wear.)
• Wear your flats and put your heels away.
• Attend to your face; wipe away any runny makeup or get rid of it altogether with those makeup wipes.
• More gum for alcohol breath.
• Add a pair of sunglasses and tie your hair up.
• In Spanish we have a saying that goes: He who goes to bed drunk has water for breakfast. Get ahead and buy a water bottle somewhere to drink on your way home.

Once you’re home

• Take a shower and rinse out all the cigarette smell from your hair. I used to do this for a while but found it more annoying each time; if you can’t be bothered to shower, make sure you wash off all your makeup. Wash your face and brush your teeth.
• Have some more water.
• If you’re still tipsy from those Margaritas and your head is spinning, keep a foot flat on the floor as you sleep.

If your head is throbbing the morning after

• Unfortunately there is no cure for hangovers, only ways to minimize their awful effects.
• Don’t go to class/work, it will prove utterly useless.
• Stay away from coffee; have a banana shake instead.
• More water.
• Don’t try to eat until your body is hungry.
• Don’t go for fried goodies. Start with some bread, then move on to sugary foods to restore blood sugar.
• Vegetable soup for lunch.
• Painkillers will work for headaches, antacids for upset stomachs.
• Read this.
• Don’t look at last night’s photos. Call your best friend to fill in each other’s blackouts, lament the state you are both in. If you discover something ridiculous might have happened, turn to Facebook for proof. If it’s not there, it didn’t happen.

My weekend starts tonight! Any other tips for partying right?