Breathe in and out — you own your life. Explanations are not required.

Often we are under the impression that certain people are superior, unreachable. We forget that we are all humans, each with our own faults and strengths, so when it comes to trying to approach said holier individuals we crumble under nerves and fear of rejection and ridicule. It’s a self preservation thing, and we all do it!

So how do you approach these people, break the ice and hold a conversation without feeling like a fool/embarrassed/inadequate/Bridget Jones?

Your opening line

First and foremost, find something to say. Who is this person? What may you have in common? For one, you’re in the same place. Maybe you both know the host, or you both opted for the assorted sushi instead of the mini burgers. Whatever it is, make sure you say it like you mean it.

The art of smiling

Don’t give your smile away right off the bat. After your initial brief introduction, wait a moment and take in the situation. Allow them to do the same and to reply — even if it’s just a “Hi”. Then flash your warmest, brightest smile at them.  It will make them feel acknowledged, like you genuinely want to stick around even if it means getting through a bit of painful small talk first.

Eye contact

Look them straight in the eye as you speak. Not only does it show respect, it shows you’re both on the same level. You have something to say and they want to listen.

Converse

Remember that you are holding a conversation, which means they should be doing some of the talking too! Be interested in what they say and ask pertinent questions (only if you are actually interested in knowing the answer!). Don’t get into heavy political debates; touch lightly on any subject that comes up while still letting your personality show through of course! If you want to win them instantly, all you have to do is talk about their favorite subject: THEM! Start with that ;)

Just remember to be your usual amazing self, that is always most important!

How would you approach someone that slightly intimidates you?

Picture success. Your dreams coming true, small changes in the world like a clockwork shifting so that things finally fall into place for you. Maybe you’ve won the lottery, or you’ll be offered an amazing opportunity.

Those sweet, sweet moments will inevitably be accompanied by a few bitter souls who feel the need to inform you that it “isn’t that amazing”, or that they’ve “already been there” or “they’re past that stage”, whatever that all means. As always, our favorite jealousy cliché is unfortunately ever present.

It’s something about self esteem — we do whatever it takes to preserve it, and, as it goes, haters will always hate. They’re not hurting your self esteem, they’re trying to help theirs by stepping over you. It becomes tiring because some of these people just keep on pushing it to get some sort of validation, and it takes a lot of patience to dismiss them and to stay classy while you’re at it!

1. It doesn’t matter if they’ve had something similar happen before with bad results because guess what — they’re not you! They may not possess the same psychological tools to confront difficult situations, so no matter how similar the experience, you’ll be going about it differently.
2. Obviously the experience will never be exact because your situation is not the same either! Just because they failed doesn’t mean you will. The fact that anyone would try to connect their failures to you alone is a big warning sign.
3. Be realistic and basically take everyone’s input (both positive and negative) with a grain of salt. Stay grounded.
4. Don’t spend too much time analyzing what everyone says, as that is energy you’ll need to put into your plans and dreams and success.
5. Judge the opportunity/success as it applies to you. If this opportunity or event is what success is for you, who is anyone else to say that it’s not enough? Things in life will only have the value you give them.
6. On a similar note, a small setback will only be as big as you allow it to be. Be wary of whose “advice” you heed.  It’s one thing to give advice and it’s a whole other thing to try to close doors. If any doors need to be closed, make sure you’re the one doing the closing.
7. Keep your focus. After all it’s your life and you’re choosing how to live it every second. If everything you do is based on someone else’s judgement, then isn’t that a bit like living their life?
8. Don’t give out too many details about your projects, what you hope to get from this amazing opportunity etc. This will only invite people to judge and criticize. Everyone seems to feel entitled to comment on everyone’s life nowadays, eh? The more you keep to yourself, the less they’ll be able to discuss.
9. That said, know who you can trust. Make these people your allies, and go to them in times of doubt. As with anything else in life, nobody can pull through entirely on their own. We are social beings and as such we need a good support system sometimes too!
10. Go for it. If it’s what you want, if the curiosity is killing you, if you just want to take a risk, then do it. You can be the judge of whether or not it was the right choice yourself.

So sugardrop, what do you do to stay afloat when everyone seems to be trying to drown you?

P.S — Sorry for my absence! I’ve begun working six days a week so it’s taking a little while to adjust. But I haven’t forgotten you all ;)!

I’m going to be 100% honest here — I’m not an early riser. Anyone that sees me up before 9 a.m. has only seen me make a quick trip to the washroom or for some water. I’m not talking about waking up at lunch time either, but I know that if I were to wake up at 6 every morning, I’d probably not get much done because my mind is hardly awake by then. This is why heading for an 8 o’clock class can be so incredibly exhausting for some of us, not to mention the amount of information that my brain fails to retain is somewhere near monumental at those times.

So I have to work around that. I do go to all of my classes (not without some coffee in me), and I listen and take notes, not bothering trying to make sense of anything, especially when it involves the early philosophies and beginnings of psychology. I know that I’m at my best in the afternoon, so I go over those notes with an open mind and actually sit down to understand them.

Some people can’t seem to get anything done unless it’s midnight, and others would not know what to do with themselves in bed past 7 a.m. AND THAT IS FINE! We need to step away from the strict early riser mindset, because it isn’t for everyone. It’s one thing to become an early riser if you believe it will provide you more energy for the rest of the day, or it’s part of your exercise routine. But waking up earlier for the sole purpose of doing doesn’t mean you’ll be any more productive; it can be quite the opposite if you aren’t at your best in the morning and end up wasting all that time just trying to function, and then you’ll just be frustrated and feel uninspired. Why not start things when you know you’ll be able to do it best?

In this step, find out when during the day you are at your best to take on different challenges. At the beginning of the year, for psychobiology, we determined our biorhythm by measuring a few things. Some people don’t believe in it, but it couldn’t hurt to try it out right? To find out, just do the following for the next five days:

1. Pick a time interval that will allow you to repeat each step 4 times each day (E.g. every 4 hours.)
2. Temperature: take your temperature at the time and record it. When you look at your results, a change in 0,5 might seem insignificant but it is not!
3. Heart rate: record your heart rate at the time as well.
4. Time: put a timer and without looking at it, estimate when you think a minute has gone by. Stop the timer and record the time it was running (it doesn’t matter how close you are/aren’t to the exact minute!)
5. Record how you are feeling at that moment (E.g. exhausted, excited, apathetic…)

So if I chose a time interval of 4 hours and I started at 8 a.m., at 8 a.m. I would measure my temperature and heart rate; I would then estimate a minute in time and write down how I’m feeling. Take a look at your results. Generally, body temperature and heart rate will be highest at your most alert times. Regarding time, your estimates should fall below the actual minute when you are most activated (higher heart rate and temperature), and the opposite should happen when you are less so. Don’t forget to take into account how you were feeling at the time as well!

This is a rough guide but it will help you define when more or less you are most alert during the day! Once you’ve figured it out, try working on your projects at that time and see if it works for you.

So sugardrop, will you give this a go? At which time during the day do you think you are at your best?

Happy weekend everyone! It’s been a week since our first resolution to incorporate more water into our daily routine; how have you done? I’ve loved it, personally. I found the perfect bottle to take with me so I can keep hydrated on the go, and my skin just feels overall softer. It isn’t a huge difference, but I can tell from the way my face and legs look/feel that something’s going right! So this is a habit that has to stick.

Today’s resolution/step is all about taking care of the ‘self”**. Life just seems to go by faster and faster; we expect fast results, we want shortcuts, and we have forgotten to savour little moments. I mean, everywhere I go I walk like I’m headed to this important meeting and I’m late, when mostly I’m just going for some groceries or to renew my bus pass. It seems like the only time I get to relax is on weekends when I have some downtime, and even then I feel like there must be something I’m forgetting.

Well lovelies, I think it’s time for us to stop all this madness! Stress doesn’t look or feel good. Take at least thirty minutes of every day to just sit and think, to relax in your garden or even to just sit on the couch and cuddle with your s.o without worrying about not having enough time for whatever it is you need to get done. Be selfish. Just leave your mind blank and enjoy it.

Easy? Even silly you might think, but trust me when I tell you it is more complicated than it seems! We always put ourlseves on hold for something else that needs our immediate attention, so really we end up working/stressing our life away instead of doing little things that relax us, inspire us and renew us.

Some ideas on taking a daily time-out:

• Do it at a time when you know you won’t be interrupted by anyone/anything else.
• Change it up every day, and you’ll find it will give you time to do all those things your little heart desires but seems too busy to get to usually (reading, watching that LOST episode, going on Oh No They Didn’t for your celeb gossip fix…)
• Lay down, have a rest. If you can spare another 30 minutes, take a power nap and wake up good as new.
• Do your nails. Make yourself feel pretty. Yesterday’s all-nighter might have drained you out, but you can still look fab!
• Sit still, preferrably outside (weather permitting), find the horizon and let your mind wander. Have some lemonade. Daydream.

Do you make time for yourself every day? What’s the best way to add a little extra downtime into every day?

* * Just a quick reminder: all Steps are organized into four main categories (Body, Self, Life & Living Space). Every week will follow that order, just because I think that alternating between them will make it more fun and motivating to see progress in the different areas :)

P.S Thanks for all the exam luck wishing! I’ve gotten 2 out of the way, have 2 more to go! Eeep.

Dear sugardrop,

Are you stuck in a rut? Have a lot of ideas, many goals, but lack follow through? Troubles with confidence, self esteem? We’ve all been there, and lately I’ve answered yes to at least one of these. You too? Let’s do something about it! These 40 steps will be a guide to transform bad habits and gain good ones; it will be like working from a clean slate, a fresh start in a tired and worn out routine! Here’s how it works:

Every Saturday for 16 weeks (that’s 4 months!) I will post a new resolution/challenge, which will be merged into daily life that week and added onto the next resolution. Everything will be filed under 4 main categories: Body, Self, Life & Living Space. I will post how I’m doing, what worked for me and what didn’t. It’ll be fun — the comments section will be like our own backyard where we discuss and share ideas & inspiration over Margaritas. Who’s in?

Here’s to a new us! Love,

Luana.

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts — Sign hanging in Albert Einstein’s office at Princeton.

Up until now, Doritos and Crunchie Bars have been my best friends in-between hours. I can’t resist the crispy cheesiness of those little orange triangles, and I don’t think I need to get into details about Crunchie Bars! But I am leaving that in the past; junk food is now officially removed from my friends list.

Whenever I eat these, I feel bloated afterwards and lose any apetite for dinner. In Spanish we have a saying that goes: not eating due to having eaten…should be ok! But not when what you have eaten has zero nutrition value and 100% more junk than what you should be eating. I always have a hard time with junk food because I am a ‘bored eater’: I get the munchies whenever I’m bored. Which is a lot of the time during class, especially in the summer as the beautiful sunshine out the window keeps rubbing in my face the fact that I have to stay indoors working on statistics.

I don’t believe in eating 3 huge meals a day only; I think small portions throughout the day are best. So in-between what would be the three meals, I might eat once or twice. I have devised the following rules to stop binge eating:

1. Avoid all vending machines.
2. Have a nice protein filled breakfast (hello eggs and bacon!) so that I don’t get hungry so soon.
3. For in-between snacks, go for plums, dried peach, almonds, baby carrots & dip, and cherry tomatoes (yum!)
4. Do not speak to any friends while they snack on the enemy.
5. Refrain from checking ~bakebakebake on Livejournal all the time…
6. Keep busy! Allow myself ONE enemy item once a week for a month; then do without them completely.

Some links to check out:

• 30 Healthy Snacks from Self.com
• The Healthy Snacks Blog
• Stop Binge Eating some healthy tips!

This is not an incentive to diet, but more a healthier way to keep hungry times in control. And this does not mean that I will be giving up cake, tarts, pizza or candy any time soon, they just won’t be around as often!

How do you guys keep from binge eating? Share your tips!

Lyrics from Lady Gaga’s Papparazi that ring true, sometimes to extremes. Where to draw the line? I do not know of anyone who is completely uninterested in material posessions. We cling to these, are always on the lookout for new things we “need”, and losing them could mean a small depression for some.

Is it really possible to become completely unattached? Sometimes I count the number of times in a day that I’ve said “I want that!” or even “I need that dress in my life!” Of course I don’t actually, so when I do buy things I could do without, after giggling and jumping around to celebrate my new acquisition, I end up feeling guilty and shallow. But of course having some extra money, especially if it is money you have produced yourself, should be spent on anything your heart desires, non? So why the guilt?

I have learnt to accept the materialistic and consumerist part of my self because:

1. Things are not my entire life. Yes I would have a problem with my computer dying (!!!), or losing my phone. But at the end of the day ‘the best things in life are not things’. If there was a fire, you bet the first ‘thing’ I would grab would be my puppy! Things can be replaced, but people and the moments lived with them cannot. I feel that knowing this helps me get a grip on things, so I know the difference between “I want and I AM gonna get that!” and “I want that but I probably shouldn’t get it.”
2. Things can help bring you out of a rut and motivate you. For instance, if your gym subscription is just gathering dust, getting new sportswear could motivate you to start going. Getting new stationery is a great motivation for a starting school/work year (or perhaps this is just my inner nerd talking…). When you have a blah, bread face, nothing-looks-good-on-me day, getting some new accessories or makeup could lift up your spirits! Something you really want could be set as a reward for finishing an obligation or a big project. I love doing this because it makes me feel like I actually deserve it!
3. Things serve purposes! I buy a camera because I want to capture memories and because I love photography. I buy new clothes because they make me feel good and confident when I go out. I use what I buy, and all these things impact my life in a positive way.
4. Buying or wanting things does not automatically cancel out a functioning brain. I love makeup and am addicted to Youtube makeup tutorials (what? try it!), but I can still talk to you about politics and history and psychology. Don’t ask me about physics or math, though that has nothing to do with the level of my ‘shallowness’ but more the fact that numbers and I just have never really gotten along.

Wanting things does not equal being shallow — being shallow means knowing no other form of happiness than things.

How do you feel about the materialistic part of your self? When does one cross the line over to shallowness?