LEMON SODA

Breathe in and out — you own your life. Explanations are not required.

Often we are under the impression that certain people are superior, unreachable. We forget that we are all humans, each with our own faults and strengths, so when it comes to trying to approach said holier individuals we crumble under nerves and fear of rejection and ridicule. It’s a self preservation thing, and we all do it!

So how do you approach these people, break the ice and hold a conversation without feeling like a fool/embarrassed/inadequate/Bridget Jones?

Your opening line

First and foremost, find something to say. Who is this person? What may you have in common? For one, you’re in the same place. Maybe you both know the host, or you both opted for the assorted sushi instead of the mini burgers. Whatever it is, make sure you say it like you mean it.

The art of smiling

Don’t give your smile away right off the bat. After your initial brief introduction, wait a moment and take in the situation. Allow them to do the same and to reply — even if it’s just a “Hi”. Then flash your warmest, brightest smile at them.  It will make them feel acknowledged, like you genuinely want to stick around even if it means getting through a bit of painful small talk first.

Eye contact

Look them straight in the eye as you speak. Not only does it show respect, it shows you’re both on the same level. You have something to say and they want to listen.

Converse

Remember that you are holding a conversation, which means they should be doing some of the talking too! Be interested in what they say and ask pertinent questions (only if you are actually interested in knowing the answer!). Don’t get into heavy political debates; touch lightly on any subject that comes up while still letting your personality show through of course! If you want to win them instantly, all you have to do is talk about their favorite subject: THEM! Start with that ;)

Just remember to be your usual amazing self, that is always most important!

How would you approach someone that slightly intimidates you?

Picture success. Your dreams coming true, small changes in the world like a clockwork shifting so that things finally fall into place for you. Maybe you’ve won the lottery, or you’ll be offered an amazing opportunity.

Those sweet, sweet moments will inevitably be accompanied by a few bitter souls who feel the need to inform you that it “isn’t that amazing”, or that they’ve “already been there” or “they’re past that stage”, whatever that all means. As always, our favorite jealousy cliché is unfortunately ever present.

It’s something about self esteem — we do whatever it takes to preserve it, and, as it goes, haters will always hate. They’re not hurting your self esteem, they’re trying to help theirs by stepping over you. It becomes tiring because some of these people just keep on pushing it to get some sort of validation, and it takes a lot of patience to dismiss them and to stay classy while you’re at it!

1. It doesn’t matter if they’ve had something similar happen before with bad results because guess what — they’re not you! They may not possess the same psychological tools to confront difficult situations, so no matter how similar the experience, you’ll be going about it differently.
2. Obviously the experience will never be exact because your situation is not the same either! Just because they failed doesn’t mean you will. The fact that anyone would try to connect their failures to you alone is a big warning sign.
3. Be realistic and basically take everyone’s input (both positive and negative) with a grain of salt. Stay grounded.
4. Don’t spend too much time analyzing what everyone says, as that is energy you’ll need to put into your plans and dreams and success.
5. Judge the opportunity/success as it applies to you. If this opportunity or event is what success is for you, who is anyone else to say that it’s not enough? Things in life will only have the value you give them.
6. On a similar note, a small setback will only be as big as you allow it to be. Be wary of whose “advice” you heed.  It’s one thing to give advice and it’s a whole other thing to try to close doors. If any doors need to be closed, make sure you’re the one doing the closing.
7. Keep your focus. After all it’s your life and you’re choosing how to live it every second. If everything you do is based on someone else’s judgement, then isn’t that a bit like living their life?
8. Don’t give out too many details about your projects, what you hope to get from this amazing opportunity etc. This will only invite people to judge and criticize. Everyone seems to feel entitled to comment on everyone’s life nowadays, eh? The more you keep to yourself, the less they’ll be able to discuss.
9. That said, know who you can trust. Make these people your allies, and go to them in times of doubt. As with anything else in life, nobody can pull through entirely on their own. We are social beings and as such we need a good support system sometimes too!
10. Go for it. If it’s what you want, if the curiosity is killing you, if you just want to take a risk, then do it. You can be the judge of whether or not it was the right choice yourself.

So sugardrop, what do you do to stay afloat when everyone seems to be trying to drown you?

P.S — Sorry for my absence! I’ve begun working six days a week so it’s taking a little while to adjust. But I haven’t forgotten you all ;)!

It’s all over the internet and plastered in every self-help book out there: ‘take charge of your life — become an early riser’. However, the key isn’t to just wake up at 5 a.m. fresh faced ready to take on the world, because some of us work better in the morning and others at night. Society has been structured around certain pattern, but that doesn’t mean that it suits everyone! The key my dears, is to figure out a pattern that works for you; one that you can work around society and that will help you be as efficient as you can be.

I’m going to be 100% honest here — I’m not an early riser. Anyone that sees me up before 9 a.m. has only seen me make a quick trip to the washroom or for some water. I’m not talking about waking up at lunch time either, but I know that if I were to wake up at 6 every morning, I’d probably not get much done because my mind is hardly awake by then. This is why heading for an 8 o’clock class can be so incredibly exhausting for some of us, not to mention the amount of information that my brain fails to retain is somewhere near monumental at those times.

So I have to work around that. I do go to all of my classes (not without some coffee in me), and I listen and take notes, not bothering trying to make sense of anything, especially when it involves the early philosophies and beginnings of psychology. I know that I’m at my best in the afternoon, so I go over those notes with an open mind and actually sit down to understand them.

Some people can’t seem to get anything done unless it’s midnight, and others would not know what to do with themselves in bed past 7 a.m. AND THAT IS FINE! We need to step away from the strict early riser mindset, because it isn’t for everyone. It’s one thing to become an early riser if you believe it will provide you more energy for the rest of the day, or it’s part of your exercise routine. But waking up earlier for the sole purpose of doing doesn’t mean you’ll be any more productive; it can be quite the opposite if you aren’t at your best in the morning and end up wasting all that time just trying to function, and then you’ll just be frustrated and feel uninspired. Why not start things when you know you’ll be able to do it best?

In this step, find out when during the day you are at your best to take on different challenges. At the beginning of the year, for psychobiology, we determined our biorhythm by measuring a few things. Some people don’t believe in it, but it couldn’t hurt to try it out right? To find out, just do the following for the next five days:

1. Pick a time interval that will allow you to repeat each step 4 times each day (E.g. every 4 hours.)
2. Temperature: take your temperature at the time and record it. When you look at your results, a change in 0,5 might seem insignificant but it is not!
3. Heart rate: record your heart rate at the time as well.
4. Time: put a timer and without looking at it, estimate when you think a minute has gone by. Stop the timer and record the time it was running (it doesn’t matter how close you are/aren’t to the exact minute!)
5. Record how you are feeling at that moment (E.g. exhausted, excited, apathetic…)

So if I chose a time interval of 4 hours and I started at 8 a.m., at 8 a.m. I would measure my temperature and heart rate; I would then estimate a minute in time and write down how I’m feeling. Take a look at your results. Generally, body temperature and heart rate will be highest at your most alert times. Regarding time, your estimates should fall below the actual minute when you are most activated (higher heart rate and temperature), and the opposite should happen when you are less so. Don’t forget to take into account how you were feeling at the time as well!

This is a rough guide but it will help you define when more or less you are most alert during the day! Once you’ve figured it out, try working on your projects at that time and see if it works for you.

So sugardrop, will you give this a go? At which time during the day do you think you are at your best?

Happy weekend everyone! It’s been a week since our first resolution to incorporate more water into our daily routine; how have you done? I’ve loved it, personally. I found the perfect bottle to take with me so I can keep hydrated on the go, and my skin just feels overall softer. It isn’t a huge difference, but I can tell from the way my face and legs look/feel that something’s going right! So this is a habit that has to stick.

Today’s resolution/step is all about taking care of the ‘self”**. Life just seems to go by faster and faster; we expect fast results, we want shortcuts, and we have forgotten to savour little moments. I mean, everywhere I go I walk like I’m headed to this important meeting and I’m late, when mostly I’m just going for some groceries or to renew my bus pass. It seems like the only time I get to relax is on weekends when I have some downtime, and even then I feel like there must be something I’m forgetting.

Well lovelies, I think it’s time for us to stop all this madness! Stress doesn’t look or feel good. Take at least thirty minutes of every day to just sit and think, to relax in your garden or even to just sit on the couch and cuddle with your s.o without worrying about not having enough time for whatever it is you need to get done. Be selfish. Just leave your mind blank and enjoy it.

Easy? Even silly you might think, but trust me when I tell you it is more complicated than it seems! We always put ourlseves on hold for something else that needs our immediate attention, so really we end up working/stressing our life away instead of doing little things that relax us, inspire us and renew us.

Some ideas on taking a daily time-out:

• Do it at a time when you know you won’t be interrupted by anyone/anything else.
• Change it up every day, and you’ll find it will give you time to do all those things your little heart desires but seems too busy to get to usually (reading, watching that LOST episode, going on Oh No They Didn’t for your celeb gossip fix…)
• Lay down, have a rest. If you can spare another 30 minutes, take a power nap and wake up good as new.
• Do your nails. Make yourself feel pretty. Yesterday’s all-nighter might have drained you out, but you can still look fab!
• Sit still, preferrably outside (weather permitting), find the horizon and let your mind wander. Have some lemonade. Daydream.

Do you make time for yourself every day? What’s the best way to add a little extra downtime into every day?

* * Just a quick reminder: all Steps are organized into four main categories (Body, Self, Life & Living Space). Every week will follow that order, just because I think that alternating between them will make it more fun and motivating to see progress in the different areas :)

P.S Thanks for all the exam luck wishing! I’ve gotten 2 out of the way, have 2 more to go! Eeep.