The first time I noticed the sky I was running around a sandy playground holding a red bucket. I was sure I’d find a treasure somewhere so I wanted to be ready. A faint humming noise filled the air, and as everyone looked up I saw a plane (a small bird in my mind) for the first time; in unison we dropped everything and started waving, “Byeee!”. I think I did that everytime I saw one until I was about 6.
The moon has always hung from its velvet waves, but it was only this summer that I thought the sky was truly beautiful; I was standing outside with Tom waiting for shooting stars to plummet to their deaths in less than seconds. And it was beautiful to be there in the cold, in the middle of the countryside with no other light than the one shining from the stars and moon, and with Tom. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.
Tell us when you first noticed the sky. Tell us when you first thought that the sky was beautiful.
Last Friday, right before I became deathly ill (and I say that literally), I went to a few exhibitions with my cousin. Observing art is one of my favorite things in the world, not only for the art itself but because I love to see people looking at art — the silence that consumes everyone into individual bubbles, where thoughts spiral through their faces to produce a reaction. Well that is exactly what happened with us; we had been talking non-stop during lunch and on our way, and the second we went through the exhibition hall entrance, that same silence took over us until we left.
One of the exhibitions was called “Maternity”, which was a collection of photographs from all over the world of a mother and her child. But it wasn’t just the amazing photographs of those moments captured that caused my spiraling thoughts to produce a reaction; one of the walls was dedicated entirely to visitor cards in which people wrote down what maternity and motherhood meant to them. They were so diverse not only in content but in length, the way some people can sum up just about anything in a sentence and others keep adding details.
My favorite two:
(From Portuguese)
Mom, I am very happy here in Madrid these days and everything I see reminds me of you! I wish my eyes would bring everything I see to you. I love you, Alessandra.
(From Spanish)
Mom, you were, are and will always be what I most loved, love and will love in my life. C.E
Ironically, as I fell sick that afternoon and spent the next two days lying around in bed, it was my mother who took care of absolutely every detail. And it usually is, as it happens, my mother who watches out for me, who is blunt and honest with me, who listens to me, who constantly gives without expecting in return. It is inexplicable, but she really does know me better than most; I cannot fool her for a second. She is not without faults, of course, but I have learned to accept those and what is left is someone I admire for her courage and drive, and for her sense of humor. Some of my most intense laughing fits come from laughing with her.
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. — Tenneva Jordan
So it isn’t Mother’s Day, but then again you don’t really need one specific day to celebrate your mother, do you?
As the world has proven time and time again, it is when we are put in extreme situations that we give the most; our best. Against natural disasters, political causes, crime, injustice, disease… all we have is each other. So why not add your voice to the song? Tell someone, write it down — help raise HIV/AIDS awareness. It is everyone’s fight.
For most of us born in the late 80′s early 90′s, AIDS has been a part of our world throughout. And unfortunately, as there is no cure (yet), it will continue to be unless we try to prevent/stop it from spreading. By raising our voice we are not only asking each other to be safe, cautious; we are affirming that its stain is real; that we will not discriminate against those affected by it and we will join them in their battle instead.
I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. — Edward Everett Hale
Philadelphia (1993) is possibly one of the most powerful movies I have ever seen. This scene in particular, is heartbreaking. I think the movie as a whole depicts the pain caused by AIDS both physically and emotionally, as well as the early perception of AIDS; it is beautiful and tragic. But mostly it makes you want to get up and do something. If you have not seen it, I highly recommend it.
What can we do?
As bloggers, we have the power to get it out there: blog about this!
I was a mere spring and half a summer away from
becoming flesh the day you laid out bread and milk
and sealed off your kitchen to inhale your final solution.
I didn’t even realize until my coffee chat with Bridget
the other day that you lived and died a full hundred
years later than I waywardly assumed you had.
Surely poets didn’t suicide themselves in 1963?
1863 – 1763 – I could see. But 1963?
Yet you did.
And I wonder was your life
like a grasshopper’s on a
windshield at sixty mph,
like an uprooted sapling’s who
can’t speak the foreign tongue
of discontinued seasons?
Hanging on for dear life
from the rafters of childhood,
from the meat hooks of love,
from the blackness of red tulips,
who knows what night you knew?
Ah, gone lady, had we been girls
of beach summers and winter woods
together, I would’ve shown you how to
laugh and wear your hat like starshine,
how to skip the flattest round stones
and joke about moons over tea,
every day a small miracle hanging
like children in park swings,
like bras in happy trees.
So you’ve decided to go long distance; the bothers and pain of your s.o’s absence is worth it and trust rules above all in your relationship. (Not sure whether to take the leap? Consider these and think about it!) That is absolutely great, but it doesn’t mean it will be easy. In fact it won’t be and you will be miserable at times. Luckily, there are ways to endure this situation and actually sprinkle bits of amazing along the way. Here are some ideas to brave distance:
Skype – No, I don’t mean just talking on it. I mean actually setting up a time and day for it; a Skype Date. Having your s.o on speaker is pretty much like having them there, minus the fact that they actually are just on your screen. But we will omit this tiny detail and proceed to plan out an amazing date where you two will enjoy wine – red or white, your choice, champagne if you’re feeling particularly festive – and maybe watch a movie or TV show online. After a few glasses you both will be slightly tipsy, which will be great for trying to beat each other at online games or just looking through funny Facebook pictures (which may or may not be your own.) Optional: you may take a screenshot to remember the night :)
Little somethings in the mail – E-mailing is fast and we are so impatient that the Facebook inbox will probably soon take over it (if it hasn’t for you already), but mail can’t and never will lose its appeal. For a long distance relationship, I am not asking you to communicate solely through letters, though maybe sending each other a little week re-cap now and then would be nice. But for the full effect, send your s.o random gifts of goodness through the mail. Do not warn them about it, the surprise is half of it! It can be anything: leaves from your walk home accompanied by a short letter or poem, the last book you read, a photograph of yourself, a drawing, a riddle, chocolates/candy…
Random calls/SMS – Just to let them know that you miss them, or to wish them a good day or good luck on that presentation. I love getting these in the middle of the day, it just makes you feel remembered and important (which you should be!)
Scheduled calls – Pick a day of the week (or as many as you’d like) where you will have a catch-up session. You’ll most likely be using Skype for this (unless you are in the same country) as international calls are crazy expensive, but it still counts as a call.
Visiting! – Frequency will obviously depend on how far away you guys are and your schedules, but it is incredibly worth it to plan some time to see each other. The importance of visits is not only getting to see your s.o, but the quality of that time spent together. It is perfect for planning outings, dinners, sightseeing, little romantic escapades around the park…because you have such little time together and because it probably won’t be an every-other-week thing (though lucky you if this is the case!), you are less likely to argue and just focus on having a good time. The hardest part about this will be saying goodbye, but it is in that moment that you will realize again just how important they are to you and why you need to keep going.
These little tips combined with patience and will should keep you two busy for a long while. Christmas is coming up, so is his birthday, and what about random presents? I’m cooking up a little list of creative gift ideas for LDR couples out there; should be fun so watch out for it, counts for overseas friends too!
Want to remember why you decided to go for long distance in the first place? Go back to Surviving LDR Part I!
