LEMON SODA

In less than half a week I abandoned lazy summer days in the sun for a job that now takes up most of my time. It was what I’d wanted then, but as the weeks keep pushing by I’m starting to treasure little things that perhaps I barely paid any attention to before.

Things like a nap after mom’s amazing cooking, or walking Chimbo (even if he IS 15 and takes forever to walk around a corner); having a ‘me’ night, where I give myself a little at home spa treatment, sitting around the TV with my mom laughing at the sillyness of the world or going out for dinner together and talking about big dreams.

I’ve missed lunch dates with friends and silly photos. Two weeks ago I was convinced to go out and watch Eclipse, and I can’t even remember the last time I’d gone to the movies! (OK I lie — I’m pretty sure the last time was for Avatar).

Talking to Tom every day forever isn’t possible anymore, which is heartbreaking, especially considering we are True Blood junkies and I can’t watch an episode if he isn’t around. I’d feel like I cheated.

Now that I have to stretch every bit of time that I have to myself, I seem to be getting a lot more done. I’ve picked up my love for reading again thanks to the long commute to work — currently reading The Time Traveller’s Wife because this is one book I want to read every word of before I see the movie. I’d just hate myself if I didn’t!

What little things have you learned to treasure?

Picture success. Your dreams coming true, small changes in the world like a clockwork shifting so that things finally fall into place for you. Maybe you’ve won the lottery, or you’ll be offered an amazing opportunity.

Those sweet, sweet moments will inevitably be accompanied by a few bitter souls who feel the need to inform you that it “isn’t that amazing”, or that they’ve “already been there” or “they’re past that stage”, whatever that all means. As always, our favorite jealousy cliché is unfortunately ever present.

It’s something about self esteem — we do whatever it takes to preserve it, and, as it goes, haters will always hate. They’re not hurting your self esteem, they’re trying to help theirs by stepping over you. It becomes tiring because some of these people just keep on pushing it to get some sort of validation, and it takes a lot of patience to dismiss them and to stay classy while you’re at it!

1. It doesn’t matter if they’ve had something similar happen before with bad results because guess what — they’re not you! They may not possess the same psychological tools to confront difficult situations, so no matter how similar the experience, you’ll be going about it differently.
2. Obviously the experience will never be exact because your situation is not the same either! Just because they failed doesn’t mean you will. The fact that anyone would try to connect their failures to you alone is a big warning sign.
3. Be realistic and basically take everyone’s input (both positive and negative) with a grain of salt. Stay grounded.
4. Don’t spend too much time analyzing what everyone says, as that is energy you’ll need to put into your plans and dreams and success.
5. Judge the opportunity/success as it applies to you. If this opportunity or event is what success is for you, who is anyone else to say that it’s not enough? Things in life will only have the value you give them.
6. On a similar note, a small setback will only be as big as you allow it to be. Be wary of whose “advice” you heed.  It’s one thing to give advice and it’s a whole other thing to try to close doors. If any doors need to be closed, make sure you’re the one doing the closing.
7. Keep your focus. After all it’s your life and you’re choosing how to live it every second. If everything you do is based on someone else’s judgement, then isn’t that a bit like living their life?
8. Don’t give out too many details about your projects, what you hope to get from this amazing opportunity etc. This will only invite people to judge and criticize. Everyone seems to feel entitled to comment on everyone’s life nowadays, eh? The more you keep to yourself, the less they’ll be able to discuss.
9. That said, know who you can trust. Make these people your allies, and go to them in times of doubt. As with anything else in life, nobody can pull through entirely on their own. We are social beings and as such we need a good support system sometimes too!
10. Go for it. If it’s what you want, if the curiosity is killing you, if you just want to take a risk, then do it. You can be the judge of whether or not it was the right choice yourself.

So sugardrop, what do you do to stay afloat when everyone seems to be trying to drown you?

P.S — Sorry for my absence! I’ve begun working six days a week so it’s taking a little while to adjust. But I haven’t forgotten you all ;)!

When I was 12, I became obsessed with BonneBell lipgloss and Bath & Bodyworks glitter. They were my life. That’s as far as my makeup ideas went, and I loved it! Throughout middle school and highschool I got more into it, but not as a daily kind of thing. Perhaps it was because I felt a bit stupid wearing makeup and a uniform, and I didn’t think school was that important to get dressed up for anyway. But then I broke free of that and realized that HEY! If done right, makeup can be amazing!

The way I see it, makeup is there to enhance your features, whether it’s a bright or subtle look you’re going for. The only time it can get really, really bad, is when used as a mask (and I mean literally!). I guess the first step is recognizing and accepting that you are already beautiful without it, whether you’re a fair skinned beauty with green eyes and exquisite red locks or you’re darker with deep black eyes and amazing dark curls. There’s something suitable for every skin tone and every eye-color, so go with what you have instead of trying to work against it!

I wear makeup because by playing up my best features, I get an extra kick of confidence in me. I wear it because I think it’s fun to change looks once in a while, always going for something that defines me and that I feel good in. I’m not afraid to wear loud red lips if the occasion is right, but I also have no problem leaving the house ‘fresh faced’ with just a touch of lipgloss! It is by no means a necessary part of my routine, although I’m going through a phase where I just want to try and experiment with new products and colors. I find it incredibly interesting and fun!

What do you think about makeup? Why do you or don’t you wear it?

It’s all over the internet and plastered in every self-help book out there: ‘take charge of your life — become an early riser’. However, the key isn’t to just wake up at 5 a.m. fresh faced ready to take on the world, because some of us work better in the morning and others at night. Society has been structured around certain pattern, but that doesn’t mean that it suits everyone! The key my dears, is to figure out a pattern that works for you; one that you can work around society and that will help you be as efficient as you can be.

I’m going to be 100% honest here — I’m not an early riser. Anyone that sees me up before 9 a.m. has only seen me make a quick trip to the washroom or for some water. I’m not talking about waking up at lunch time either, but I know that if I were to wake up at 6 every morning, I’d probably not get much done because my mind is hardly awake by then. This is why heading for an 8 o’clock class can be so incredibly exhausting for some of us, not to mention the amount of information that my brain fails to retain is somewhere near monumental at those times.

So I have to work around that. I do go to all of my classes (not without some coffee in me), and I listen and take notes, not bothering trying to make sense of anything, especially when it involves the early philosophies and beginnings of psychology. I know that I’m at my best in the afternoon, so I go over those notes with an open mind and actually sit down to understand them.

Some people can’t seem to get anything done unless it’s midnight, and others would not know what to do with themselves in bed past 7 a.m. AND THAT IS FINE! We need to step away from the strict early riser mindset, because it isn’t for everyone. It’s one thing to become an early riser if you believe it will provide you more energy for the rest of the day, or it’s part of your exercise routine. But waking up earlier for the sole purpose of doing doesn’t mean you’ll be any more productive; it can be quite the opposite if you aren’t at your best in the morning and end up wasting all that time just trying to function, and then you’ll just be frustrated and feel uninspired. Why not start things when you know you’ll be able to do it best?

In this step, find out when during the day you are at your best to take on different challenges. At the beginning of the year, for psychobiology, we determined our biorhythm by measuring a few things. Some people don’t believe in it, but it couldn’t hurt to try it out right? To find out, just do the following for the next five days:

1. Pick a time interval that will allow you to repeat each step 4 times each day (E.g. every 4 hours.)
2. Temperature: take your temperature at the time and record it. When you look at your results, a change in 0,5 might seem insignificant but it is not!
3. Heart rate: record your heart rate at the time as well.
4. Time: put a timer and without looking at it, estimate when you think a minute has gone by. Stop the timer and record the time it was running (it doesn’t matter how close you are/aren’t to the exact minute!)
5. Record how you are feeling at that moment (E.g. exhausted, excited, apathetic…)

So if I chose a time interval of 4 hours and I started at 8 a.m., at 8 a.m. I would measure my temperature and heart rate; I would then estimate a minute in time and write down how I’m feeling. Take a look at your results. Generally, body temperature and heart rate will be highest at your most alert times. Regarding time, your estimates should fall below the actual minute when you are most activated (higher heart rate and temperature), and the opposite should happen when you are less so. Don’t forget to take into account how you were feeling at the time as well!

This is a rough guide but it will help you define when more or less you are most alert during the day! Once you’ve figured it out, try working on your projects at that time and see if it works for you.

So sugardrop, will you give this a go? At which time during the day do you think you are at your best?

First impressions can be deadly, in the way that they give you a few seconds to present your essence and you don’t get a do-over. If you’ve never felt the pressure to make a good first impression then you are either a goddess by nature or you live in a cave. For those of us that don’t fall into any of those camps, here’s the ultimate guide on how to nail it! Get yourself together and radiate amazingness wherever you go ;) (Tips and video demos inside!)

The importance of self grooming

Let’s be completely honest with ourselves here. When you know nothing about a person, the only thing you have to go on are looks. So yes! Looks are definitely important. The way a person chooses to wear their hair, makeup, clothes etc. is your first hint about them. Starting from top to bottom:

• Hair should be washed and properly styled for whatever look you’re going for. Don’t try a technique for the very first time on the actual day! You have no time for potential disasters.
• Eyebrows need to be groomed. No but’s. So get tweezing and trimming (though ideally this would have happened the day before). Fill them in with an appropriate shade if needed; do whatever you need to do so they look taken care of.
• Makeup must be appropriate for the occasion. It’s best to try to go with a natural look as much as possible; you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard. Neutrals on the eyes with a pop of lip color and you’re good to go! I’d say steer away from fake lashes and liquid liner. To help you out: (WARNING! may cause addiction! If you are ok with that, subscribe to Pixiwoo, you won’t regret it.)

• Any trace of mustache shall be waxed, immediately! (Or bleached) You don’t want any detail, no matter how minute, to make you feel uncomfortable or selfconscious.
• Teeth must be brushed, obviously. If your teeth are just a bit yellowy by nature, you can go with some whitestrips the day before. You’ll want to flash those pearly whites every chance you get!
• Nails should be taken care of. Ideally you’ll have a manicure done, whether it is with or sans color is up to you. Moisturize them. To help you out: an easy nail routine from lacquerized.com! The entire site is a goldmine for anything nail related.
• If your feet will be showing, these too shall be properly groomed! There is nothing more unsightly than peeling bits and longer than desired toenails on display…

Do whatever you have to to look polished. Now is when details are amplified to the max, so don’t overlook them.

Proper attire

Really think about this one. Think about what most people will be wearing, first. Decide on an outfit that adheres to the dress code but that allows you to show your individual taste and personality as well! Most importantly, choose something you feel sexy and comfortable in. That will give you 50% of the confidence you need!

There is no ‘fashionably late’

Coming from a person who is perpetually late to everything, I advise you to watch your time! Arrive early to avoid making the person wait. Being on time shows that you are interested, that you didn’t leave everything til the last minute (like I tend to do…), and helps you avoid having to make unlikely excuses which your company will be less than thrilled to hear about.
To help you out: How to Get Ready in 10 Minutes, Looking Decent on No Sleep.

Body language

Your body language often says more than anything coming out of your mouth. The two main things:

• Posture! Slouching only informs the world of how insecure you are walking through, or how tired and unwilling you might be (or appear to be!). Walking straight will just ooze elegant, not to mention enhance your top assets and hide that rebel tummy.
• Hands. The big question is always: where do I put my hands? Whatever you do, do not put them inside any pockets and do not cross your arms! Keep them away from your face/hair and dress. If it’s a cocktail party, grab a drink. If it’s dinner, you’re saved!

If you tend to be clumsy (like me), don’t be afraid to make light of your spilling your drink or dropping a bit of salad. Being able to make fun of yourself a little will not only show how confident you are, but it will also show that in spite of being so confident you are not up yourself, which is always a plus ;) To help you out: How To Eat Tricky Foods.

Small talk

Do:

• Introduce yourself with a smile
• Ask pertinent questions that you actually want to know the answer to
• Give your own answer to said question
• Look the speaker in the eye
• Smile throughout the conversation to let the person know you are enjoying it (if it is pertinent of course!)
• Speak about subjects you know a lot about

Don’t:

• Talk about the weather
• Dive into political debates
• Ramble on about yourself
• Make up random facts or talk about astrophysics if it isn’t your forte; just be honest. If something is brought up that you don’t know a lot about or haven’t heard of, just say it! You won’t look as stupid as if you pretend you know what they’re on about and then have no clue how to answer a specific question or how to give your opinion on the matter.
• Forget your thankyou’s and please’s
• Say no when offered something; sometimes people use these as icebreakers and a no would just make the next step incredibly awkward…if you want to be polite about it, you can always say something like “Yes I’ll have a bit of that thank you!”. Adding “a bit” or “a little” instantly makes everything sound nicer, doesn’t it?
• If you aren’t speaking in your first language, don’t be afraid to have a bit of your accent come through! It can only be cute ;)

What are your tips for making the best first impression?