One day we received the news that a fellow teacher (and good friend of his) had passed away, so instead of finishing up Romeo & Juliet we began talking about what matters. In the big scheme of things, what matters in life? When it comes down to it, tests and always being on time are not so trascendental, he said. When you’re out of here, you won’t even remember what you got on that huge paper you’ve spent a week stressing about, hermiting and pushing friends aside to get done. He told us that in the end, it’s the people we meet and relationships we build that will stay with us.

“Are you worrying about the right things?” he asked.

The answer is NO. We worry about so many small things in our day to day lives — I just missed the metro; I can’t find my keys even though I left them right here; I need a new ___; I can’t stand ___. All these add unnecessary stress, and no value whatsoever.

Listen

Hear a lot of whining? Everything going wrong in your life? Write down the things you’ve been complaining about, and stop complaining about them. It’s not that bad.

Only if it adds value to your life should you be spending time and energy on it. Anything that stresses you out, doesn’t inspire you or make you happy should be put aside and left behind for good if possible. While it is futile to try to eliminate all the negatives in life, they shouldn’t be your main focus. Any friend that only brings unhappiness is not a friend to keep around, and any habits you don’t like about yourself you can gradually change. You can become whoever you want to be; let your writing go crooked on the page. Be happy and single. Stay in on a Friday night. Here is your permission slip from the universe. Print it out, add to it! If you hate your job, devise a plan so that you may become free of it and pursue your dreams. As always I recommend Jonathan Mead’s Reclaim Your Dreams* for a kick in the butt and inspiration! I will write a detailed review of it and include very exciting news within the next few days, so stick around sugardrops!

Evaluate what’s going on in your life, and let go of all that you don’t want so you can leave room for all the good you want coming your way :) Good luck.

I came accross 10 Sure-Fire Ways to Be a Complete Failure at Everything the other day, and decided to write my own take on it as I don’t particularly agree with everything mentioned there. The list according to the author and my thoughts:

1. Chase Other People’s Dreams: I agree with this one. Anything you set out to do in life, do it because it means something YOU.
2. Start 17 Projects, Finish None: Disagree. Sometimes you need to dabble a bit in several things before you realize what you’re truly looking for. I wouldn’t call that failing, just taking a bit longer to find your own way. Of course good thought needs to go into each project before you go ahead and spend all your savings in getting the right tools, only to find out it’s not your thing!
3. Give Up When It Gets Tough: Yes. Nothing will ever be completely smooth sailing, so the true test of how much you want it lies in how much you’re willing to stand through for it. If you always quit when things get rough, you’re not likely to get very far.
4. Persist At All Costs: Also true. Knowing when there’s nothing left to do and when to jump out of a project is also important; but only when you’re sure that the costs have been outweighing the benefits long enough and not just because it feels like going a little uphill.
5. Never Ask For Help: Agreed. No matter what your studies or qualifications, we all could use a helping hand now and then. Don’t be afraid to ask for it — the worst that could happen is that it might be denied to you.
6. Trample On Other People: True. Society is incredibly competitive nowadays, we could benefit from trying to work together rather than trying to push each other over the edge. That said, it doesn’t mean you can’t think of ways to make your projects and efforts stand out from your competition! Just play a clean game.
7. Never Say No: Also agree. Keep your best interests in mind, and know when to decline an offer or request. Be polite, but stand your ground!
8. Be Disorganized: Big one. It’s not about having a tidy desk and neat handwriting; it’s about keeping track of everything, paying bills on time and having some sort of outlined action plan. If you’re on top of everything you’re more likely to know which areas are weaker and could use your attention.
9. Stay In Your Comfort Zone: Not always true. Sometimes people succeed at doing what they know best, which could well be something they’ve known since birth. I think breaking out of your comfort zone will ensure bigger things and broader outlooks, something that staying confined in it will never offer; but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll fail. It all just depends on where you’re aiming.
10. Procrastinate: Not always true either. I’m a huge procrastinator! Am I a huge failure then? No, and neither are all the huge procrastinators I know. Some of us work better under the added pressure of a looming deadline. As long as you do what needs to be done within that deadline and you aren’t disrupting any other process in the project, then by all means, work at your own pace! Sitting around procrastinating is obviously not the most effective way to go about anything, but it doesn’t make you a failure either.

Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are. — Norman Vincent Peale

I came up with a list of my own of what I truly think could result in failure:

1. Doubt yourself
   “But I’m not ___ enough to do that”, “I don’t have ___ so I can’t do it”, “I can’t”. All these thoughts can only contribute to one thing: failure. It might even hinder you from taking on an exciting project because you believe you can’t. You are the first person that needs to believe in your abilities, even if it takes some encouraging from someone else. As soon as you realize your own value and what you can put on the table, you’ll have enough drive and motivation to push through (as cheesy as that may sound). Be realistic about what you can do, but know that you can add to your repertoire at any time you want.
2. Let other people’s beliefs of what YOU can do alter your thought
   This is a big one! There will always be people who’ll want to put you down, simply because they wish they’d come up with your idea sooner, or because they’ve tried something similar and failed so they want to let you know you won’t be able to do it either. Don’t even try to understand why they’d go out of their way to make you feel incompetent; just don’t let it infiltrate your thoughts and stain your motivation. Just acknowledge that they will always be there, almost like a test, but that is all; they have no power over what you know you can do.
3. Relate your possible success to past experiences
   Failing in the past does not mean you’ll fail this time around; your motivation might be different, your economic/health situation might have changed…the number of factors that play a part in possible success are never the same at any given moment in time. That said, just because you’ve succeeded in every project so far doesn’t mean you’ll also succeed this time around (though it can be a good indicator if the conditions are similar). Know this but don’t let it hinder you.
4. Set unrealistic goals
   As I mentioned above, you need to keep your current condition in mind before approaching anything. Be realistic in your approach and know how much effort and time it will take to get from A to B. If there is a huge gap, take it into account! It doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get to where you need to be, it just means it’ll take longer were your conditions different.
5. Set unclear goals
   Unclear goals are just as bad as unrealistic ones. Where will you steer if you don’t know where you want to go? Vague goals lack action plans; so you want to be ‘rich’. Now what? What does being ‘rich’ mean to you? Is it owning a yacht, or being able to just sit and do nothing all day? Think of why you want it, the purpose it will serve you (and/or others) and the possible roads that will take you there.
6. Be arrogant
   Being arrogant about anything rarely will get you anywhere. Don’t snub anyone, as you never know when you might find yourself in their position. It will not win you any friends, and the world has its ways of humbling everyone! Treat everyone as equals, disagree or turn down an offer but be polite and elegant about it, celebrate your success but be humble in doing so (i.e. thank your team and everyone who has helped you through instead of focusing on yourself.)
7. Compare yourself to others constantly
   Comparing how you are doing with respect to other people in the same industry or within your circle can be a healthy way to take note of things you could be doing better or things you have learnt to master better than others. But it becomes dangerous when you make it a habit and you let it breed jealousy. Be happy for others’ success, and think about what might have gotten them there, what they’re doing really well and what they’re doing not so well; make subtle changes to your own action plan accordingly and see if it works for you, and then move on! There will be many things requiring your attention, and jealousy should not be part of any of them.
8. Focusing on the outcome rather than the entire process
   There are two kinds of people: those who are motivated by results, and those who are motivated by the process (which usually involves learning). The first kind are likely to have their hopes die out instantly after an unpredicted failure or not meeting some sort of standard, wheareas the latter will always gain from the experience whether it ends in success or failure. The good thing about focusing on the entire process rather than the outcome is that you maintain a positive attitude throughout, and you are more likely to know that your failing means you lack experience (and will therefore set out to gain it) instead of it meaning that you are just not good enough or “made for that kind of stuff”. It’s a huge difference in terms of attitude; think of where you stand.
9. Ignore possible failures
   If you do fail but your plan has completely omitted any room for failure, it will come as a gigantic shock and will leave you with no previously thought-through options for a state of mind that most likely won’t let you think clearly. You are human; small failures are likely to pop up along the way, so be ready for them and put them in perspective. Do this and your panicking will be reduced by 70%! If you’ve drifted out in the sea with no life vest, panicking will exhaust you and possibly result in your drowning. Having a life vest will give you a sense of security that will allow you to think clearly about what you need to do to get back to shore safely. So have a plan that includes every event, and it will be the life vest that secures your safe return!
10. Having no clue as to why it didn’t work (or not wanting to see)
    In the event that you fail, you must know the causes so that you can improve your ways in the future. Most importantly, you need to determine whether the result was due to an external cause (the economy’s gone downhill, a key person quit on you) or internal (you doubted yourself the whole way through, you didn’t promote enough…). You’ll need to be completely honest with yourself so that you can tackle the problems directly!

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure. — Bill Gates

I think sometimes failure is necessary to help us gain perspective, and I dare even say it might be inevitable; above all I think that letting your mind dictate your failure is the biggest failure of all. Use it instead to dictate success, even when failure does come along.

What would you add to this list?

It is no secret that Monday is my least favorite day of the week, and today it is especially strange as that time of the year has come again for me. The time where I am one day away from turning a year older, closer to supposed adulthood and the tiniest bit further from youth (which I don’t like). The time where I sit and ponder about what my life has been to date, the many people that have walked by and those who remain, past fashion choices that now make me cringe…

The best is looking at old photographs — the change is monumental, as you would expect. But it seems less so when you remember things in your mind, as you see yourself in the mirror every day so change seems absent. Then I begin to think of all the times I  wished I had this and that, wished I could be here or there, wished I looked like so and so…

In my Letter to My Body article I write a bit about the things I was not too happy about before, but now have come to solidly accept; all of it (me). My unruly hair (otherwise known as baby hair), strange thoughts, bad singing, drunken mistakes, and the list could go on…haven’t stopped me from meeting the most amazing human beings, loving them and being loved in return.

So why not turn the tables around, darlings? Instead of getting into the self-destructive habit of comparing, just think about how amazing you truly are. There’s nothing wrong with believing that; if your favorite people in the world can believe that about you, why can’t you? Wear your best clothes, sing (badly) if it’ll make you happy, sit alone in the park if you so wish, smile at yourself in the mirror before going out, enjoy every last ounce of ‘you’ — whether or not it’s the current mainstream way to go is a problem to those who only know to follow the norm, not to you!

I celebrate myself, and sing myself. — Walt Whitman

Head over to Loving Yourself More, read it, print it out, let it sink in. The first step to being amazing, is recognizing that you are amazing yourself.

So happy Monday sugardrop, let your hair down and have an amazing week!

The “R” factor, as my third grade teacher called it, is unfortunately the only way some people find to relate to others. It is impossible to steer away from the jealousy cliché, because it is one of the determining forces behind rudeness. Why are people rude? The possibilities are endless; it may spring from the need for self-validation, a bad day, a stressful situation, ignorance, prejudices…Whatever the reason, the key lies in your reaction to it.

Above all, remember that you are classy and polite; these are permanent conditions of your being, while temper is a passing state, so be wise about when to let it play a part. Knowing this will allow you to act accordingly.

Those who brag
A lot of the time, these people are trying to convince themselves of something — of being capable, talented, rich, what-have-you — and the only way to gain validation is to shout it to the world, especially to people who they feel cannot obtain the same thing they have. The best thing to do is to let them shout it out as loud as they want. Though very tempting, replying with irony will only result in them believing they have made you jealous, which will be another ‘win’ in their book. A simple reply will do.
Another reason for bragging is attention. A person who brags usually does so about something they know will generate a response: “WOW! How did you do that?!” “Where did you get it?! I want one!” “You’re sooo cool!”. Again, this attention is self-validating, it makes them feel important. Look for a smug look on their face or a smirk; if present, attention is most likely their objective. Don’t give it to them. A simple reply will do.

Those who belittle
Much like bragging, belittling brings the belittler a sense of power and importance. They have not found a way to be brilliant through self-merit and resort to trying to make others appear dull in comparison, so they will criticize everything from your looks, to your achievements, to your country. Basically anything that is attached to your persona is fair ground for bashing. Again, these don’t deserve more than a brief reply. Be polite, but don’t spend too much time around. Anyone who tries to make others feel like they are any less are too energy and time consuming so sticking around would not be the most interesting option.

Those who snap
Snapping is a milder form of rudeness, mainly because a lot of the time it is caused by physiological factors (sleep deprivation, hunger, pain…) so we find it easier to forgive. I snap, you snap, we all snap sometimes! The important thing here is letting the person know that they are being snappy without reason. Often it acts as a wake-up call and the person will stop. Otherwise (like for instance bitter customer service people), kill them with kindness. Being overly nice and genuine will catch them offguard and will make them feel slightly stupid at the very least.

Those who don’t appreciate
Giving should be done without expecting anything in return, but when I give I do expect a thank you, even if just out of courtesy. When I do give something, it is also because I imagine that the other person would have no problem doing something similar for me if the opportunity arose. A lot of people don’t have this sense of compromise though, which can be hurtful when it has taken a great deal of effort on your part. There is not much that can be done about this, except learn your lesson and refrain from putting any more effort into them.

Giving simple replies instead of ironic remarks does not equal to being passive and lame. If someone is truly out of line, demand respect, but do it with respect. “I only respect those who respect me” will only lead to more conflict and waste of energy. Simply call them out on it, and if it continues, remove them from your life entirely.

How do you guys deal with rude people?

Anticipating an outcome
If you crashed your dad’s car, you’ll be nervous as you walk through the door because you are anticipating that he will get angry. If you’re about to give a speech, you’ll be nervous that people won’t respond well to it or you’ll say something ridiculous and embarrass yourself. These thoughts are mental barriers we set up, and we get nervous as we find them hard to overcome; we anticipate a negative outcome even if there is the possibility of a positive one (for instance, job interviews). I don’t think there’s a surefire way to ‘overcome’ nerves, but there are ways to make them less intense.

When public speaking
This is probably one of the number one nerve-wracking situations for many. You’re about to give a speech to your entire class; everyone will be silent and the lights will catch any signs of nervousness. Generally you become more aware of your mannerisms because you feel observed, which will cause you to sway, or wonder where your hands should go, or whether you’re talking loud enough. To cope a little:

• Make sure you know what you’re going to say. Practice your speech out loud over and over like your life depends on it, changing things around a bit each time so that in case your PowerPoint messes up you know where to pick up the slack.
• Use an audience. Grab your parents, siblings or grandparents.
• Before the event (or class) begins, try standing around the front as people take their seats. This will help you familiarize with the space so that you can move around more freely.
• Take a deep breath as you get ready to say your first words. Start with a strong voice so you can follow in the same pattern. Make the audience believe in what you’re saying.
• Speak as though you were conversing; logical, bite sized sequence of events using natural language (not colloquial, but not extremely technical — specific enough to the subject area but easy enough that everyone understands.)
• Be interested in what you’re saying and you’ll bring your audience with you; rather than focusing on whether or not you said something right, they’ll be trying to grasp concepts and put ideas together.
• Once you’re done, think ‘that wasn’t so hard’. Remember this moment for your next speech!

When doing something for the first time
Skydiving. All your friends seem to have done it and they won’t stop raving about how amazing it is. If you’re deathly afraid of heights (like me), no amount of convincing will work on you; however if you’re naturally curious (though not exactly an adventure seeker) you might find yourself wanting to try this out. It’s your first time jumping off a plane though, and you are —with reason— scared as hell. In this case:

• Let it be known that you are nervous as hell. Communicate it to your friends who have done it, to the instructor and to the pilot if he’s around. You’ll get a biased response, but in this case you need all the positive feedback you can get: “It’s nothing!”, “You’re more likely to die from being struck by lightning”, “Nobody’s died from it — yet!”. You’ll still be scared as hell, but running these through your mind will help ease the tension (somewhat)
• Know how to get out of it in case of an emergency. In skydiving, if your chute doesn’t open you might be in big trouble (that’s probably an understatement.) But say you’ve decided to go rock climbing and get stuck somewhere. Make sure you know what you need to do to get out!
• Think about the risk and weigh it against the benefits. If it’s your first time asking someone out, think of the possible consequences. Worst case scenario: you’ll be rejected. Will you die? No. Will you be hurt? Most likely. But if they say yes, will it be the best decision you ever made? Then go for it.

When taking an exam
You have a huge final on Monday. It will determine whether or not you graduate, and again, you are nervous as hell.

• Nerves will only block your mind, and in this case they will arise from uncertainty. So you need to start by making sure you understand the material. Reading over your notes 15 times will not help if you still don’t understand how protein synthesis works. Break down the information until you understand it, and then connect ideas and new concepts; this way, even if you don’t remember minute details in the happenings, you’ll still be able to tell the whole story.
• EAT! I used to think this was a silly cliche, but it kind of seems obvious that if energy is required to process thoughts, and energy comes from food, then eating is a smart choice. Glucose is especially important in brain processes and is used up faster in the brain than anywhere else in the body. So have a hearty breakfast and a chocolate bar on your way to the exam and get thinking!
• Right before the exam, if you really feel there’s so much information in your brain that it might fall out, jot it all down on the margins before you even look at the questions. This way your thoughts won’t be tainted by tricky wordings and you can refer back to them if they come up.
• Divide your time, otherwise you might find yourself chewing away at your pencil until you realize time’s almost up. If it takes more than 5 minutes, leave it for later and move on.
• Read everything twice. Once you’ve answered, read over everything once more. Make sure you haven’t been tricked and that you actually answered the question! Nerves can make you read words that aren’t there, turn negative numbers into positives or even make you think that the entire question is a trick.
• When you come out, DON’T talk about the answers with your peers!! Everyone does this, it’s natural, we want to know how we did compared to the rest of the class and knowing that someone else put a for the first question makes us feel more secure. But if you find that your answers are completely different to everyone’s you’re likely to think you probably failed, when sometimes it may mean that you were the only one to actually answer right. Then you’ll just be thinking about it and feeling terrible until the official results come out.

When approaching someone
A lot of times we want to complain, or ask someone for directions, or just talk in a crowded cocktail party. For some reason we are embarrassed, and can’t bring ourselves to do it.

• Firstly, remember people are only fellow human beings. They’ve also needed help at some point or wanted to complain that the fries are too salty. If you are nice about it there’s no reason why they won’t help you out.
• Don’t over-think it. You’re at some event for a book that just launched and you find yourself alone. Instead of hanging over by the punch, go over to someone else. It may be easier to break the ice with someone who is also alone, or maybe two people. I don’t know about you, but if I’m also roaming around alone and someone comes up to me, I’ll be more thankful than annoyed.
• Classic advice: if you want to be interesting, be interested. Ask genuine questions, reply with personal experiences or simply comment a bit on their answer.
• Tip: if you aren’t speaking in your first language and can’t find a crucial word, say it fast in your own language. This way, the op will think they either misunderstood or don’t know the word. At the risk of sounding stupid, it is unlikely that they’ll ask you what it means, but if they do, just innocently say it again (in your language) and tell them that’s how you say it in your country.

When making an important call
I’m not a phone person; I don’t even like calling for pizza, but sometimes you can’t avoid it.

• If you have to call someone important, or have something important to say but know your nerves will get in the way, the best thing to do is to write down key points you want to touch upon. Keep them in sight as you’re talking to the person. Before you dial, rehearse how you’ll greet them and lead into the conversation. The good thing about phones is the other person won’t see your panicked face, or your pacing back and forth as you try to calm the nerves.

In the end, it all comes down to feeling under prepared (and therefore less confident) for a certain situation; prepare well and visualize success. Think of the moment the struggle is done and what you can gain from it. Life goes on whether you want it to or not, and even if it doesn’t end up being what you had envisioned it to be, it’ll still be Friday, and Saturday, and Sunday. By Monday you will barely remember the feeling, so get over it and try again!

What makes you nervous and how do you cope? Any strategies to help us calm down in the face of fear?

• If you’re next in line to put your week’s worth of groceries through, let the person behind you with two sodas and a bag of chips go first.
• Give up your seat on the bus so that two friends can sit and chat together.
• Spare some change or be as generous as you’d like with street musicians; when you tip them make sure you tell them how well they play/sing.
• If you see someone looking confused or lost, ask if they’d like some help.
• In controversial matters, speak your mind but agree to disagree so as to avoid useless confrontations (you will not convince anyone against their ideals and they will not convince you against yours.)
• When someone expects you to rise in anger, do the opposite.
• When working on projects, encourage your teammates by complimenting their bit of work.
• Be welcoming to ‘the new kid’.
• Hitting your computer won’t help. Hitting anything won’t help. Calm down, assess the situation and ask for help if needed.
• Say thank you. Sounds simple but we don’t say it enough.
• Treat your parents or friends to dinner or a movie, just because.
• Give because you want to, not because you expect anything in return.
• Leave uplifting quotes inbetween library books.
• Confide in a good friend. Let them do the same.
• Throw a party to celebrate your friend/boyfriend/brother/sister.
• When someone is talking to you, ask more about their story. (If you want to be interesting, be interested.)
• Apologize. Even if it wasn’t your fault to begin with, there is nothing worse than being in a fight with a loved one.
• Be confident in yourself and others.
• Be happy for your friends when they shine.
• Don’t insult others; it is neither classy nor useful.
• Never wish badly upon someone.
• Grab a flyer passed on to you on the street. Even if you end up throwing it away, at least take a glance at it.
• Set up a local fundraiser for a cause (who doesn’t love bake sales?)
• Make everyone feel like they count.
• Hug often.
• Donate even if just a few dollars to artists, web developers and fellow bloggers just to show your support.
• Smile in photos!
• Leave a good tip, even if you are a broke student (like me.)
• Spend time with kids. Learn from them (and their brutal honesty!)
• Tell your mother how amazing the meal she cooked was.
• Empathize.
• Talk to your pets.
• Pamper yourself. Love yourself, feel pretty and help others feel beautiful too.
• Every day should be Mother’s Day/Father’s Day/Valentine’s Day.

What do you do to spread the love around?

The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. — Carl Jung

You’re going to be getting ready for a fabulous party, and you are the guest of honor. Think about your grand entrance! What will people think as you walk in? Which parts of yourself will you show as they get to know you?
♥ Sit down with yourself for a moment; be honest and think about whatever (the good, the funny, the bad, the awkward) makes you you and not someone else.

In your skin
Ok, we all have insecurities to a certain degree — a freckle, our derrière not fitting into something, a slightly crooked nose. There is always someone who will remind us of these any chance they get, and that someone is more often than not ourselves. What’s happening on the inside has a way of manifesting itself outside, so if you walk into a room and expect everyone to be dazzled, you cannot do so with slouching shoulders, doubting your own beauty and ‘essence’. But before dazzling a room of strangers you must be able to dazzle yourself; it does not matter what size you wear or how tan you are(n’t), it only matters how you feel about it.

♥ Sit down and jot down things you are not comfortable with and things you love about yourself. No bullets! Complete sentences including why (Did someone make a rude comment about it before? Does your style icon have something you feel you don’t?) Read it back to yourself. Most likely you’re being too harsh, and instantly you’ll find things that you can live with — cross these out. Whatever is left is still a part of you, so you’ll have to work with it! Is it something that some exercise and healthy eating can change? If it isn’t, what can you do to ‘make it work’ for you? (Yes I did just steal Tim Gunn’s line.) These things take time, so while you grow comfortable in your own skin, find ways to celebrate what you do feel good about: wear a cute skirt to emphasize your legs, pull your hair back so your beautiful eyes can show through, get your nails done! It’s OK to believe the compliments you get, so do it. Be positive and kind with your body because you don’t have a spare one in your closet, and ultimately confidence is the most beautiful accessory. Make sure you wear a smile whenever possible, and you are well on the way to loving yourself more.

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting. — William Shakespeare

In your mind
So if the outside is a manifestation of the inside, we need to take a closer look at what our busy minds are getting up to. There are many traits that are worked into our personalities, some of which we may not even be aware of until someone points them out. But in the quiet of our momentary solitude, while we pick out the appropriate attire for this fanciful event we’re attending, we can reflect for a moment.
♥ First and foremost, try to eliminate any self criticism and do not compare yourself to others. You may admire someone for how outgoing they seem, but were they given a chance they might find themselves admiring your effortless poise. From now on bring forth the best in you and surround yourself with people who do the same.
♥ Trust yourself more.
♥ Be fair to yourself. Know when you have done wrong and recognize when you have put in your best efforts despite the outcome of a situation. There is no point in punishing yourself; just be honest and know where you stand.
♥ Accept your quirks, mannerisms, your randomness. Polish up any negative attitudes and as always, focus on your best. The rest will follow.

Don’t forget to love yourself. — Soren Kierkegaard

In your life
♥ Compliment people (only if you mean it.)
♥ Stay away from gossip, and be wary of those who do it because you never know what they might be saying were you not present.
♥ Avoid conflicts if you can, they only bring negative energy. It’s not about ‘taking the higher road’, it’s about figuring a problem out without resorting to any sort of name calling or agitation. Sometimes it’s good to put feelings aside and agree to disagree — done.
♥ Be thankful not only for what you have been given but also to the people that surround you, no matter how small their deed; make sure they do not go unnoticed.
♥ Do things you’re good at! Emphasize your talents. If (like me) you are not sure that you even have any, try something you’ve always liked and see where it goes!
♥ Have fun. This is essential.

That should get you on your way! If you’re still worried about that big entrance, you could follow our friend’s advice over here, I say he’s definitely got the right idea: