LEMON SODA

Often we are under the impression that certain people are superior, unreachable. We forget that we are all humans, each with our own faults and strengths, so when it comes to trying to approach said holier individuals we crumble under nerves and fear of rejection and ridicule. It’s a self preservation thing, and we all do it!

So how do you approach these people, break the ice and hold a conversation without feeling like a fool/embarrassed/inadequate/Bridget Jones?

Your opening line

First and foremost, find something to say. Who is this person? What may you have in common? For one, you’re in the same place. Maybe you both know the host, or you both opted for the assorted sushi instead of the mini burgers. Whatever it is, make sure you say it like you mean it.

The art of smiling

Don’t give your smile away right off the bat. After your initial brief introduction, wait a moment and take in the situation. Allow them to do the same and to reply — even if it’s just a “Hi”. Then flash your warmest, brightest smile at them.  It will make them feel acknowledged, like you genuinely want to stick around even if it means getting through a bit of painful small talk first.

Eye contact

Look them straight in the eye as you speak. Not only does it show respect, it shows you’re both on the same level. You have something to say and they want to listen.

Converse

Remember that you are holding a conversation, which means they should be doing some of the talking too! Be interested in what they say and ask pertinent questions (only if you are actually interested in knowing the answer!). Don’t get into heavy political debates; touch lightly on any subject that comes up while still letting your personality show through of course! If you want to win them instantly, all you have to do is talk about their favorite subject: THEM! Start with that ;)

Just remember to be your usual amazing self, that is always most important!

How would you approach someone that slightly intimidates you?

Picture success. Your dreams coming true, small changes in the world like a clockwork shifting so that things finally fall into place for you. Maybe you’ve won the lottery, or you’ll be offered an amazing opportunity.

Those sweet, sweet moments will inevitably be accompanied by a few bitter souls who feel the need to inform you that it “isn’t that amazing”, or that they’ve “already been there” or “they’re past that stage”, whatever that all means. As always, our favorite jealousy cliché is unfortunately ever present.

It’s something about self esteem — we do whatever it takes to preserve it, and, as it goes, haters will always hate. They’re not hurting your self esteem, they’re trying to help theirs by stepping over you. It becomes tiring because some of these people just keep on pushing it to get some sort of validation, and it takes a lot of patience to dismiss them and to stay classy while you’re at it!

1. It doesn’t matter if they’ve had something similar happen before with bad results because guess what — they’re not you! They may not possess the same psychological tools to confront difficult situations, so no matter how similar the experience, you’ll be going about it differently.
2. Obviously the experience will never be exact because your situation is not the same either! Just because they failed doesn’t mean you will. The fact that anyone would try to connect their failures to you alone is a big warning sign.
3. Be realistic and basically take everyone’s input (both positive and negative) with a grain of salt. Stay grounded.
4. Don’t spend too much time analyzing what everyone says, as that is energy you’ll need to put into your plans and dreams and success.
5. Judge the opportunity/success as it applies to you. If this opportunity or event is what success is for you, who is anyone else to say that it’s not enough? Things in life will only have the value you give them.
6. On a similar note, a small setback will only be as big as you allow it to be. Be wary of whose “advice” you heed.  It’s one thing to give advice and it’s a whole other thing to try to close doors. If any doors need to be closed, make sure you’re the one doing the closing.
7. Keep your focus. After all it’s your life and you’re choosing how to live it every second. If everything you do is based on someone else’s judgement, then isn’t that a bit like living their life?
8. Don’t give out too many details about your projects, what you hope to get from this amazing opportunity etc. This will only invite people to judge and criticize. Everyone seems to feel entitled to comment on everyone’s life nowadays, eh? The more you keep to yourself, the less they’ll be able to discuss.
9. That said, know who you can trust. Make these people your allies, and go to them in times of doubt. As with anything else in life, nobody can pull through entirely on their own. We are social beings and as such we need a good support system sometimes too!
10. Go for it. If it’s what you want, if the curiosity is killing you, if you just want to take a risk, then do it. You can be the judge of whether or not it was the right choice yourself.

So sugardrop, what do you do to stay afloat when everyone seems to be trying to drown you?

P.S — Sorry for my absence! I’ve begun working six days a week so it’s taking a little while to adjust. But I haven’t forgotten you all ;)!

First impressions can be deadly, in the way that they give you a few seconds to present your essence and you don’t get a do-over. If you’ve never felt the pressure to make a good first impression then you are either a goddess by nature or you live in a cave. For those of us that don’t fall into any of those camps, here’s the ultimate guide on how to nail it! Get yourself together and radiate amazingness wherever you go ;) (Tips and video demos inside!)

The importance of self grooming

Let’s be completely honest with ourselves here. When you know nothing about a person, the only thing you have to go on are looks. So yes! Looks are definitely important. The way a person chooses to wear their hair, makeup, clothes etc. is your first hint about them. Starting from top to bottom:

• Hair should be washed and properly styled for whatever look you’re going for. Don’t try a technique for the very first time on the actual day! You have no time for potential disasters.
• Eyebrows need to be groomed. No but’s. So get tweezing and trimming (though ideally this would have happened the day before). Fill them in with an appropriate shade if needed; do whatever you need to do so they look taken care of.
• Makeup must be appropriate for the occasion. It’s best to try to go with a natural look as much as possible; you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard. Neutrals on the eyes with a pop of lip color and you’re good to go! I’d say steer away from fake lashes and liquid liner. To help you out: (WARNING! may cause addiction! If you are ok with that, subscribe to Pixiwoo, you won’t regret it.)

• Any trace of mustache shall be waxed, immediately! (Or bleached) You don’t want any detail, no matter how minute, to make you feel uncomfortable or selfconscious.
• Teeth must be brushed, obviously. If your teeth are just a bit yellowy by nature, you can go with some whitestrips the day before. You’ll want to flash those pearly whites every chance you get!
• Nails should be taken care of. Ideally you’ll have a manicure done, whether it is with or sans color is up to you. Moisturize them. To help you out: an easy nail routine from lacquerized.com! The entire site is a goldmine for anything nail related.
• If your feet will be showing, these too shall be properly groomed! There is nothing more unsightly than peeling bits and longer than desired toenails on display…

Do whatever you have to to look polished. Now is when details are amplified to the max, so don’t overlook them.

Proper attire

Really think about this one. Think about what most people will be wearing, first. Decide on an outfit that adheres to the dress code but that allows you to show your individual taste and personality as well! Most importantly, choose something you feel sexy and comfortable in. That will give you 50% of the confidence you need!

There is no ‘fashionably late’

Coming from a person who is perpetually late to everything, I advise you to watch your time! Arrive early to avoid making the person wait. Being on time shows that you are interested, that you didn’t leave everything til the last minute (like I tend to do…), and helps you avoid having to make unlikely excuses which your company will be less than thrilled to hear about.
To help you out: How to Get Ready in 10 Minutes, Looking Decent on No Sleep.

Body language

Your body language often says more than anything coming out of your mouth. The two main things:

• Posture! Slouching only informs the world of how insecure you are walking through, or how tired and unwilling you might be (or appear to be!). Walking straight will just ooze elegant, not to mention enhance your top assets and hide that rebel tummy.
• Hands. The big question is always: where do I put my hands? Whatever you do, do not put them inside any pockets and do not cross your arms! Keep them away from your face/hair and dress. If it’s a cocktail party, grab a drink. If it’s dinner, you’re saved!

If you tend to be clumsy (like me), don’t be afraid to make light of your spilling your drink or dropping a bit of salad. Being able to make fun of yourself a little will not only show how confident you are, but it will also show that in spite of being so confident you are not up yourself, which is always a plus ;) To help you out: How To Eat Tricky Foods.

Small talk

Do:

• Introduce yourself with a smile
• Ask pertinent questions that you actually want to know the answer to
• Give your own answer to said question
• Look the speaker in the eye
• Smile throughout the conversation to let the person know you are enjoying it (if it is pertinent of course!)
• Speak about subjects you know a lot about

Don’t:

• Talk about the weather
• Dive into political debates
• Ramble on about yourself
• Make up random facts or talk about astrophysics if it isn’t your forte; just be honest. If something is brought up that you don’t know a lot about or haven’t heard of, just say it! You won’t look as stupid as if you pretend you know what they’re on about and then have no clue how to answer a specific question or how to give your opinion on the matter.
• Forget your thankyou’s and please’s
• Say no when offered something; sometimes people use these as icebreakers and a no would just make the next step incredibly awkward…if you want to be polite about it, you can always say something like “Yes I’ll have a bit of that thank you!”. Adding “a bit” or “a little” instantly makes everything sound nicer, doesn’t it?
• If you aren’t speaking in your first language, don’t be afraid to have a bit of your accent come through! It can only be cute ;)

What are your tips for making the best first impression?

It is terrifying for some but necessary for others: the art of dining alone is not so complex once you’ve gotten over a few barriers and actually come to enjoy it! Maybe you’re pressed for time, or you love sushi but nobody you know does (gasp!). This actually happened to me once, but as my love for sushi is above all else I happily went to my favorite restaurant and probably ate way more than I should have. But that’s besides the point.
For those of us who enjoy it, there’s really not much to it: get to the place, order what you came for and sit back, do some people watching or gather your thoughts. Unfortunately (though less so nowadays) dining alone is often associated with loneliness, being single, outcast…So getting out there can be a little intimidating.

First of all, know that you are some of the best company you’ll ever have. So take yourself out for a treat! There’s nothing like being alone with your thoughts — you can think whatever you like without worrying about hurting anyone’s feelings or causing controversy, you can daydream about where this summer might take you…If you are still unsure, try the following:

• Go somewhere you know so you’ll be familiar with what you’re ordering — no unpleasant surprises.
• Try to get a table near a window, for easy people watching and daydreaming!
• Make yourself comfortable. Good posture, no looking around anxiously. You’re having a meal, not waiting on the jury’s verdict.
• If you are at a cafe, try the book trick. I personally would just take it easy and be friendly with the staff at a restaurant.
• Make sure you’re looking good! Smile with your eyes, as you never know who might want to join you ;)

Once you’ve overcome the initial barrier, you’ll be more at ease facing the world on your own! Take yourself out for a movie, shopping and then sushi lunch! Although if you don’t like sushi (again, gasp!) you could go for something else I suppose.

What do you guys think about dining alone? Do you do it often?

A little unusual for Monday, yes: it’s the first day of hell week, shark week, whatever name you have found appropriate for your working days. For me, everything seems to go wrong on Mondays as I haven’t completely woken up from a blissful weekend full of fun and cake. I tend to forget things, drop everything, lose keys remotes and cellphones, as well as miss the bus. By the time I get home all I want to do is go to bed and let everything take care of itself. But preoccupying thoughts about looming exams and deadlines creep into my head, so I end up sitting around worrying and not being productive. Luckily for me I’ve found a few ways to disconnect (momentarily) so that I can charge back and own any and every obligation on my list.

1. Accept the fact that it is no longer the weekend and you are now required to wear appropriate attire instead of pj’s (or nothing, if you prefer your natural state of being while in the house.)
2. Breathe in. Whatever it is you need to do, you WILL get through it!
3. Grab your planner. If you don’t have one (gasp!), get yourself equipped! Look at your week and fill in things that need to be done by which day. If you are a little OCD like me, deadlines go in bright colors and are highlighted once taken care of.
4. Take a look. Is there anything you can finish today? Start with a few small tasks so that you can feel accomplished.
5. Once you have crossed off a few obligations, try starting on a bigger one. The aim isn’t to finish but to get the ball rolling so that starting tomorrow won’t seem like such a hassle.
6. Set a time by which you will stop working.
7. Once this time has come, drop everything and run into the shower. Get rid of all the germs you picked up at work and slip into your pjs (or stay naked, if you are so inclined.)
8. Sit back, have some dinner and rest your mind. Some light reading, bad TV or mindless internet surfing are some good alternatives. Sleep will get a hold of you, so don’t fight it. An early night will ensure a clearer head come Tuesday morning!

How do you guys fight the ‘Monday blues’?