LEMON SODA

It might be cheesy, but it is so true: real, true friends are not easy to come across. Luckily for me, I have found a few along the way (Caroline if you’re reading, you’re definitely in there x). We’ve seen each other at our best, at our worst, our silliest or most embarrassing moments. This is an ode to them, for being there despite our being scattered all over the world. It isn’t always easy to keep in touch due to time difference and busy university life, but no matter how long it’s been since we last met for a coffee date, with them it feels no longer than a day. How do you keep your friendships alive? It is obvious that in any relationship things unfold as they’re meant to, but I always feel a little effort should be put into them.

Tell them how much they mean to you
Go ahead and be cheesy! This might be easier to do in writing, or paint them something, send them something in the mail. Just let them know you appreciate them at all times.

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” — Helen Keller

Listen
Listen to what they have to say, but actually listen. It might seem silly to you, them gushing about a boyfriend or coming to you after their billionth argument. But if they have chosen you to confide in, that means something. It means it is important to them and they are sharing it with someone they trust. Sometimes listening doesn’t require a full list of suggestions of what you would do, sometimes just being there for them to let it out is enough.

Be honest
If there is something great about true friends is that you can be honest. Tell them what you’re thinking, what’s bothering you. Don’t try to hide something because they will either see through it or find out eventually (they are your best friend…)

“I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t judge
The people I trust the most, people whose friendship I value the most, have never judged me. I feel like I can tell them anything; something I feel stupid about doing, or scared or embarrassed about. Even if you disagree with something they’re doing, let them know you’ll still be around.

Forgive and forget
Don’t hold grudges. I remember once I had a fallout with a close friend and we didn’t speak for the rest of the school year. Then we realized that didn’t get us anywhere; I sent her an email and we both agreed we had been pretty stupid. When it comes to good friends, swallowing up your own pride over who’s right and who’s wrong is important sometimes. Apologize and accept their apologies. Move on.

Don’t cancel on them
Sometimes life gets in the way and you have to cancel on people. If it isn’t essential, don’t cancel on your friends. If you aren’t feeling up for it then let them know honestly but be sure to reschedule. Best friends are like a second family, don’t put them aside.

“Go often to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.”  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

K.I.T!
Keep in touch! Typical phrase found in every senior’s yearbook. Actually keep in touch with friends no matter how far away or close they are. It’s funny how nowadays it’s so much easier, what with facebook, e-mail, skype, blogs etc., and yet we still put it off. For me, I have to actually sit down for a while to be able to write out exactly what I’m thinking and to keep them up to date. Skype is amazing, but time difference is not. For whatever reason keeping in touch is harder than it seems, but if the friendship is strong, even the longest time without speaking will not be enough to extinguish it. Plan trips where you can all meet up again and actually catch up face to face; there’s nothing better than that.

“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” — Mark Twain

The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. — Carl Jung

You’re going to be getting ready for a fabulous party, and you are the guest of honor. Think about your grand entrance! What will people think as you walk in? Which parts of yourself will you show as they get to know you?
♥ Sit down with yourself for a moment; be honest and think about whatever (the good, the funny, the bad, the awkward) makes you you and not someone else.

In your skin
Ok, we all have insecurities to a certain degree — a freckle, our derrière not fitting into something, a slightly crooked nose. There is always someone who will remind us of these any chance they get, and that someone is more often than not ourselves. What’s happening on the inside has a way of manifesting itself outside, so if you walk into a room and expect everyone to be dazzled, you cannot do so with slouching shoulders, doubting your own beauty and ‘essence’. But before dazzling a room of strangers you must be able to dazzle yourself; it does not matter what size you wear or how tan you are(n’t), it only matters how you feel about it.

♥ Sit down and jot down things you are not comfortable with and things you love about yourself. No bullets! Complete sentences including why (Did someone make a rude comment about it before? Does your style icon have something you feel you don’t?) Read it back to yourself. Most likely you’re being too harsh, and instantly you’ll find things that you can live with — cross these out. Whatever is left is still a part of you, so you’ll have to work with it! Is it something that some exercise and healthy eating can change? If it isn’t, what can you do to ‘make it work’ for you? (Yes I did just steal Tim Gunn’s line.) These things take time, so while you grow comfortable in your own skin, find ways to celebrate what you do feel good about: wear a cute skirt to emphasize your legs, pull your hair back so your beautiful eyes can show through, get your nails done! It’s OK to believe the compliments you get, so do it. Be positive and kind with your body because you don’t have a spare one in your closet, and ultimately confidence is the most beautiful accessory. Make sure you wear a smile whenever possible, and you are well on the way to loving yourself more.

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting. — William Shakespeare

In your mind
So if the outside is a manifestation of the inside, we need to take a closer look at what our busy minds are getting up to. There are many traits that are worked into our personalities, some of which we may not even be aware of until someone points them out. But in the quiet of our momentary solitude, while we pick out the appropriate attire for this fanciful event we’re attending, we can reflect for a moment.
♥ First and foremost, try to eliminate any self criticism and do not compare yourself to others. You may admire someone for how outgoing they seem, but were they given a chance they might find themselves admiring your effortless poise. From now on bring forth the best in you and surround yourself with people who do the same.
♥ Trust yourself more.
♥ Be fair to yourself. Know when you have done wrong and recognize when you have put in your best efforts despite the outcome of a situation. There is no point in punishing yourself; just be honest and know where you stand.
♥ Accept your quirks, mannerisms, your randomness. Polish up any negative attitudes and as always, focus on your best. The rest will follow.

Don’t forget to love yourself. — Soren Kierkegaard

In your life
♥ Compliment people (only if you mean it.)
♥ Stay away from gossip, and be wary of those who do it because you never know what they might be saying were you not present.
♥ Avoid conflicts if you can, they only bring negative energy. It’s not about ‘taking the higher road’, it’s about figuring a problem out without resorting to any sort of name calling or agitation. Sometimes it’s good to put feelings aside and agree to disagree — done.
♥ Be thankful not only for what you have been given but also to the people that surround you, no matter how small their deed; make sure they do not go unnoticed.
♥ Do things you’re good at! Emphasize your talents. If (like me) you are not sure that you even have any, try something you’ve always liked and see where it goes!
♥ Have fun. This is essential.

That should get you on your way! If you’re still worried about that big entrance, you could follow our friend’s advice over here, I say he’s definitely got the right idea:

Starting fresh is a very important concept for me, one that I take literally to the bone when it comes to starting the new year. A true procrastinator at heart, I’ve been putting this off for a while now but we are only two days away from 2010 and I want to make sure I am well armed for whatever it throws at me.

The importance of order in the home (out with the old!)
If you are a neatfreak at heart, there is no way you are waiting until spring to clean out your closets! What better way to start the new year than with an organized wardrobe? Throw out anything you shouldn’t take with you into 2010. Consider the following: Is it over two years old? Have you worn it in the last appropriate season? Is it covered in lint balls? Are you only keeping it because it was a gift, and never actually to wear?  If the answer to any of these is yes, is it a favorite piece you can’t do without? If it isn’t, throw it out. Careful with downgrading pieces to “loungewear” because you cannot part with them. Your loungewear drawers will be overflowing within months (I should know!)

Orderly Corners
Another thing I love to do is go through my computer folders, deleting excessive files and photos (I have photos in my ‘inspiration’ folder from 2005…). I keep my bookmarks down to 100, so only the essential dailies. Anything else goes to delicious just in case!
I also go through my iTunes and delete songs that I usually skip over and I make new playlists or revise old ones.
Tame down crowded shelves and drawers; I basically go through them all over the house and throw away piles of things — if I didn’t remember I had that, or if I haven’t used it in forever, they go in the bin. If they are in good condition I put them aside maybe to give away.

Productivity Powerhouse
The desk is where some of the magic happens, if not most depending on your job and hobbies. I tend to be glued to mine (to an unhealthy extent sometimes!), so it needs weekly maintenance. Extra papers, clippings, pens running dry, little things you just don’t know where to put so you shove them in any drawer. All these need to go out! Keep only what you use actually on your desk, the rest should be filed away. Keep some sort of board up for calendars, important notices/reminders and inspirational tidbits! This year I’ll be keeping a physical inspiration folder of inspiring articles, and I’ll leave the pictures to be put up on the wall next to my desk. Whenever my creative juices are running low, I’ll just glance over at them and keep going! Things on my desk: this semester’s books and notebooks, a big bag of pens and markers, extra paper and my printer. Nothing to distract me here! Except for the laptop which I kind of overlooked. Set it on sleep and you should be good for a while (damn twitter!)

Put those Christmas gifts to use!
Those of you who have already received your presents can start the new year with brand new shiny things, yay! I will have to wait until January 6th as is tradition here for the big loot, but a few days can’t hurt I guess!

So now that your home is a wonderland of all things beautiful and new, all you have to do is wait for 2010 to roll around! That, and maybe write down your plans for it; big ridiculous plans, small details, wants, wishes…! Exciting!

Ah, 2009! It caught Tom and I by surprise as we lined up to enter a countdown party — the actual counting down had began inside so those of us lining up just counted down together and proceeded to hug each other as we welcomed the new year.

It’s definitely been a chaotic year in every sense of the word, but as usual the memories to go down tend to be the good ones. And with time you can look back and laugh at past misfortunes and be glad that you survived them!

2009:

• Visited my beautiful family in Venezuela and took a mini holiday to the islands.
• Left my teenage years behind and turned 20!
• Finished my semester in Beijing with actually good marks!
• Moved to Madrid; probably the most hectic part of the entire year.
• Went Long Distance.
• Spent part of the summer in France with Tom; probably the best part of the year!
• Started my Psychology degree; loving it.
• Had Tom come over to Madrid and Toledo.
• Saw Tom in London and Cardiff. Amazing time but a bit too rainy for my taste…
• Had an amazing Christmas with family!

What has 2009 brought for you?

Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas to those of you celebrating! A lot of amazing food and wine, cake and champagne and most of all family, have been making my holidays super sweet! I am giving myself a break from books, but inevitably I will have to get back to them — until I do, I will sit back and start thinking for the new year. It’s all about plans and goals for me, and wishing too.

I hope you guys have been having a happy time wherever you are!