In less than half a week I abandoned lazy summer days in the sun for a job that now takes up most of my time. It was what I’d wanted then, but as the weeks keep pushing by I’m starting to treasure little things that perhaps I barely paid any attention to before.
Things like a nap after mom’s amazing cooking, or walking Chimbo (even if he IS 15 and takes forever to walk around a corner); having a ‘me’ night, where I give myself a little at home spa treatment, sitting around the TV with my mom laughing at the sillyness of the world or going out for dinner together and talking about big dreams.
I’ve missed lunch dates with friends and silly photos. Two weeks ago I was convinced to go out and watch Eclipse, and I can’t even remember the last time I’d gone to the movies! (OK I lie — I’m pretty sure the last time was for Avatar).
Talking to Tom every day forever isn’t possible anymore, which is heartbreaking, especially considering we are True Blood junkies and I can’t watch an episode if he isn’t around. I’d feel like I cheated.
Now that I have to stretch every bit of time that I have to myself, I seem to be getting a lot more done. I’ve picked up my love for reading again thanks to the long commute to work — currently reading The Time Traveller’s Wife because this is one book I want to read every word of before I see the movie. I’d just hate myself if I didn’t!
What little things have you learned to treasure?
Picture success. Your dreams coming true, small changes in the world like a clockwork shifting so that things finally fall into place for you. Maybe you’ve won the lottery, or you’ll be offered an amazing opportunity.
Those sweet, sweet moments will inevitably be accompanied by a few bitter souls who feel the need to inform you that it “isn’t that amazing”, or that they’ve “already been there” or “they’re past that stage”, whatever that all means. As always, our favorite jealousy cliché is unfortunately ever present.
It’s something about self esteem — we do whatever it takes to preserve it, and, as it goes, haters will always hate. They’re not hurting your self esteem, they’re trying to help theirs by stepping over you. It becomes tiring because some of these people just keep on pushing it to get some sort of validation, and it takes a lot of patience to dismiss them and to stay classy while you’re at it!
- It doesn’t matter if they’ve had something similar happen before with bad results because guess what — they’re not you! They may not possess the same psychological tools to confront difficult situations, so no matter how similar the experience, you’ll be going about it differently.
- Obviously the experience will never be exact because your situation is not the same either! Just because they failed doesn’t mean you will. The fact that anyone would try to connect their failures to you alone is a big warning sign.
- Be realistic and basically take everyone’s input (both positive and negative) with a grain of salt. Stay grounded.
- Don’t spend too much time analyzing what everyone says, as that is energy you’ll need to put into your plans and dreams and success.
- Judge the opportunity/success as it applies to you. If this opportunity or event is what success is for you, who is anyone else to say that it’s not enough? Things in life will only have the value you give them.
- On a similar note, a small setback will only be as big as you allow it to be. Be wary of whose “advice” you heed. It’s one thing to give advice and it’s a whole other thing to try to close doors. If any doors need to be closed, make sure you’re the one doing the closing.
- Keep your focus. After all it’s your life and you’re choosing how to live it every second. If everything you do is based on someone else’s judgement, then isn’t that a bit like living their life?
- Don’t give out too many details about your projects, what you hope to get from this amazing opportunity etc. This will only invite people to judge and criticize. Everyone seems to feel entitled to comment on everyone’s life nowadays, eh? The more you keep to yourself, the less they’ll be able to discuss.
- That said, know who you can trust. Make these people your allies, and go to them in times of doubt. As with anything else in life, nobody can pull through entirely on their own. We are social beings and as such we need a good support system sometimes too!
- Go for it. If it’s what you want, if the curiosity is killing you, if you just want to take a risk, then do it. You can be the judge of whether or not it was the right choice yourself.
So sugardrop, what do you do to stay afloat when everyone seems to be trying to drown you?
P.S — Sorry for my absence! I’ve begun working six days a week so it’s taking a little while to adjust. But I haven’t forgotten you all ;)!
When I was 12, I became obsessed with BonneBell lipgloss and Bath & Bodyworks glitter. They were my life. That’s as far as my makeup ideas went, and I loved it! Throughout middle school and highschool I got more into it, but not as a daily kind of thing. Perhaps it was because I felt a bit stupid wearing makeup and a uniform, and I didn’t think school was that important to get dressed up for anyway. But then I broke free of that and realized that HEY! If done right, makeup can be amazing!
The way I see it, makeup is there to enhance your features, whether it’s a bright or subtle look you’re going for. The only time it can get really, really bad, is when used as a mask (and I mean literally!). I guess the first step is recognizing and accepting that you are already beautiful without it, whether you’re a fair skinned beauty with green eyes and exquisite red locks or you’re darker with deep black eyes and amazing dark curls. There’s something suitable for every skin tone and every eye-color, so go with what you have instead of trying to work against it!
I wear makeup because by playing up my best features, I get an extra kick of confidence in me. I wear it because I think it’s fun to change looks once in a while, always going for something that defines me and that I feel good in. I’m not afraid to wear loud red lips if the occasion is right, but I also have no problem leaving the house ‘fresh faced’ with just a touch of lipgloss! It is by no means a necessary part of my routine, although I’m going through a phase where I just want to try and experiment with new products and colors. I find it incredibly interesting and fun!
What do you think about makeup? Why do you or don’t you wear it?
Amazing comes in all shapes and sizes, colors, sounds, textures and tastes. It fits and looks good on everyone, so if you are reading this right now, chances are you’re already amazing! A while back in Spread the Love, I shared some ideas of how to use the one thing you need, according to the Beatles, and how to bring it to people around you. After all it’s pretty simple — if you want to be amazing, do amazing things (read above about amazing coming in all shapes and sizes!). Here’s a quick list:
- Wake up inspired.
- Under no circumstances should you put your dreams on the back burner.
- Know your strengths and play up to them.
- Know your weaknesses and work on them.
- E-mail someone to tell them how much they’ve inspired you.
- Hand make your gifts, and give them to those you love whether it’s their birthday or not.
- Spread the word about things you love/have helped you so that they may do the same for others.
- Treasure relationships above all else. Everything would be pointless without those that make up our world!
- If you’re thinking of doing something, do it NOW.
- Learn to accept constructive criticism, for easy/pleasant it is not!
- Say hello/good morning/good afternoon to the store clerk before you ask, to the bus driver as you pay the fare, to your waiter before you order…
- That said, be kind to waiters! Just because that’s their job doesn’t mean it’s their only aspiration in life. It may not require a 4.0 GPA, but you try running around with trays full of drinks and remembering everyone’s order. I know I’d be a mess!
- Regard yourself highly but don’t boast. Just don’t do it.
- If someone is disrespectful, there’s no need to be nasty and start shooting them with every insult you know, but there’s nothing wrong with putting someone in their place. Don’t let anyone trample on you, but be classy about it!
- Let everyone you love know it, every day, any way you want.
- Think less “I want [object]” and more “I want to do [activity/goal/project]“.
- Own your mind.
- Allow yourself to be unreasonable every once in a while.
- Always be curious.
- ‘Be the best version of yourself you can be’.
What do you lovelies do to be so amazing?
No matter where in the world or how old, there are certain decisions that will be pertinent to human life everywhere. You know the type by now: What is my purpose? What is my true passion and should I follow it? What is success? A lifetime of thinking would probably not give you full answers, as part of it involves getting out there and DOING. Unfortunately our head can sometimes get in the way, making us the main obstacle to reach our goals. It seems we find it easy to let self-doubt seep through our thoughts, but when it comes to acknowledging how beautiful or amazing we are, we hold back. Why is that?!
Jonathan Mead’s Reclaim Your Dreams* is “an uncommon guide to living on your own terms”, and it’s definitely helping me put everything into perspective! If you’ve been to Illuminatedmind.net, you may have noticed Jonathan’s unconventional approach to motivation and self help articles — it’s like a little kick in the butt telling you to get it together, and get to whatever it is you want to be doing NOW. Well this gem is nothing short of amazing and I’m only halfway through. I am not rushing through it, but rather savoring each chapter and each exercise.
In the first chapter, Jonathan Brings up a defining issue that may very well be the beginning to this mess we’ve got ourselves into. And that problem lies in the fact that we don’t own our minds; they are always “brooding about something” and tossing thoughts around. Thoughts rich in conflicting messages about who we should be and who we can be (according to societies, fellow human beings and our own selves). Funny enough it has had me thinking all day.
My thoughts are an ‘original’ mix of everything I’ve ever heard, everyone I’ve ever met and everything I’ve ever seen. They didn’t just spring to life in my head, of course. But what about my fears and self-doubt? That’s also got to be a mix of external influences, as well as all that internal brooding. What if I could control that? What if I could choose when to listen to myself? As Jonathan puts it, we walk away or zone out when someone says something we don’t want to hear, so why can’t we do that with our selves? Chapter 1 ends with a neat little exercise to take this first step, and I can’t wait to try it!
So sugardrop, what do you think “owning your mind” means? Do you sometimes pay too much attention to what your mind has to say, even if you don’t like it?
