LEMON SODA

I’m trying to get ahead on my 50 Books Challenge (I’ve been bad!) and so I picked up The Bell Jar last week. I finished it in two days but didn’t write about it sooner because that’s how I am — I like to let a good book sink in. After reading this stunning gem I wanted more, so I thought about it and read up on Sylvia Plath and reread some of her poetry.

The way she so eloquently put what her life had been into such beautiful prose, and the way I couldn’t help but identify with so many questions and doubts that inevitably pop up as one grows up and is supposed to make way in the world made this book so easy to get lost in. I think especially now that I’m having my own doubts as to what it is I really want to do, whether I can succeed doing what I love and whether I’m just adequate in general (though hopefully I’m not alone in all that, how scary!)

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked….I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

It was heartbreaking and funny and tragic all at the same time.

What are you currently reading? And for those of you who have read The Bell Jar, what are your thoughts?

In less than half a week I abandoned lazy summer days in the sun for a job that now takes up most of my time. It was what I’d wanted then, but as the weeks keep pushing by I’m starting to treasure little things that perhaps I barely paid any attention to before.

Things like a nap after mom’s amazing cooking, or walking Chimbo (even if he IS 15 and takes forever to walk around a corner); having a ‘me’ night, where I give myself a little at home spa treatment, sitting around the TV with my mom laughing at the sillyness of the world or going out for dinner together and talking about big dreams.

I’ve missed lunch dates with friends and silly photos. Two weeks ago I was convinced to go out and watch Eclipse, and I can’t even remember the last time I’d gone to the movies! (OK I lie — I’m pretty sure the last time was for Avatar).

Talking to Tom every day forever isn’t possible anymore, which is heartbreaking, especially considering we are True Blood junkies and I can’t watch an episode if he isn’t around. I’d feel like I cheated.

Now that I have to stretch every bit of time that I have to myself, I seem to be getting a lot more done. I’ve picked up my love for reading again thanks to the long commute to work — currently reading The Time Traveller’s Wife because this is one book I want to read every word of before I see the movie. I’d just hate myself if I didn’t!

What little things have you learned to treasure?

Picture success. Your dreams coming true, small changes in the world like a clockwork shifting so that things finally fall into place for you. Maybe you’ve won the lottery, or you’ll be offered an amazing opportunity.

Those sweet, sweet moments will inevitably be accompanied by a few bitter souls who feel the need to inform you that it “isn’t that amazing”, or that they’ve “already been there” or “they’re past that stage”, whatever that all means. As always, our favorite jealousy cliché is unfortunately ever present.

It’s something about self esteem — we do whatever it takes to preserve it, and, as it goes, haters will always hate. They’re not hurting your self esteem, they’re trying to help theirs by stepping over you. It becomes tiring because some of these people just keep on pushing it to get some sort of validation, and it takes a lot of patience to dismiss them and to stay classy while you’re at it!

1. It doesn’t matter if they’ve had something similar happen before with bad results because guess what — they’re not you! They may not possess the same psychological tools to confront difficult situations, so no matter how similar the experience, you’ll be going about it differently.
2. Obviously the experience will never be exact because your situation is not the same either! Just because they failed doesn’t mean you will. The fact that anyone would try to connect their failures to you alone is a big warning sign.
3. Be realistic and basically take everyone’s input (both positive and negative) with a grain of salt. Stay grounded.
4. Don’t spend too much time analyzing what everyone says, as that is energy you’ll need to put into your plans and dreams and success.
5. Judge the opportunity/success as it applies to you. If this opportunity or event is what success is for you, who is anyone else to say that it’s not enough? Things in life will only have the value you give them.
6. On a similar note, a small setback will only be as big as you allow it to be. Be wary of whose “advice” you heed.  It’s one thing to give advice and it’s a whole other thing to try to close doors. If any doors need to be closed, make sure you’re the one doing the closing.
7. Keep your focus. After all it’s your life and you’re choosing how to live it every second. If everything you do is based on someone else’s judgement, then isn’t that a bit like living their life?
8. Don’t give out too many details about your projects, what you hope to get from this amazing opportunity etc. This will only invite people to judge and criticize. Everyone seems to feel entitled to comment on everyone’s life nowadays, eh? The more you keep to yourself, the less they’ll be able to discuss.
9. That said, know who you can trust. Make these people your allies, and go to them in times of doubt. As with anything else in life, nobody can pull through entirely on their own. We are social beings and as such we need a good support system sometimes too!
10. Go for it. If it’s what you want, if the curiosity is killing you, if you just want to take a risk, then do it. You can be the judge of whether or not it was the right choice yourself.

So sugardrop, what do you do to stay afloat when everyone seems to be trying to drown you?

P.S — Sorry for my absence! I’ve begun working six days a week so it’s taking a little while to adjust. But I haven’t forgotten you all ;)!

When I was 12, I became obsessed with BonneBell lipgloss and Bath & Bodyworks glitter. They were my life. That’s as far as my makeup ideas went, and I loved it! Throughout middle school and highschool I got more into it, but not as a daily kind of thing. Perhaps it was because I felt a bit stupid wearing makeup and a uniform, and I didn’t think school was that important to get dressed up for anyway. But then I broke free of that and realized that HEY! If done right, makeup can be amazing!

The way I see it, makeup is there to enhance your features, whether it’s a bright or subtle look you’re going for. The only time it can get really, really bad, is when used as a mask (and I mean literally!). I guess the first step is recognizing and accepting that you are already beautiful without it, whether you’re a fair skinned beauty with green eyes and exquisite red locks or you’re darker with deep black eyes and amazing dark curls. There’s something suitable for every skin tone and every eye-color, so go with what you have instead of trying to work against it!

I wear makeup because by playing up my best features, I get an extra kick of confidence in me. I wear it because I think it’s fun to change looks once in a while, always going for something that defines me and that I feel good in. I’m not afraid to wear loud red lips if the occasion is right, but I also have no problem leaving the house ‘fresh faced’ with just a touch of lipgloss! It is by no means a necessary part of my routine, although I’m going through a phase where I just want to try and experiment with new products and colors. I find it incredibly interesting and fun!

What do you think about makeup? Why do you or don’t you wear it?

It’s all over the internet and plastered in every self-help book out there: ‘take charge of your life — become an early riser’. However, the key isn’t to just wake up at 5 a.m. fresh faced ready to take on the world, because some of us work better in the morning and others at night. Society has been structured around certain pattern, but that doesn’t mean that it suits everyone! The key my dears, is to figure out a pattern that works for you; one that you can work around society and that will help you be as efficient as you can be.

I’m going to be 100% honest here — I’m not an early riser. Anyone that sees me up before 9 a.m. has only seen me make a quick trip to the washroom or for some water. I’m not talking about waking up at lunch time either, but I know that if I were to wake up at 6 every morning, I’d probably not get much done because my mind is hardly awake by then. This is why heading for an 8 o’clock class can be so incredibly exhausting for some of us, not to mention the amount of information that my brain fails to retain is somewhere near monumental at those times.

So I have to work around that. I do go to all of my classes (not without some coffee in me), and I listen and take notes, not bothering trying to make sense of anything, especially when it involves the early philosophies and beginnings of psychology. I know that I’m at my best in the afternoon, so I go over those notes with an open mind and actually sit down to understand them.

Some people can’t seem to get anything done unless it’s midnight, and others would not know what to do with themselves in bed past 7 a.m. AND THAT IS FINE! We need to step away from the strict early riser mindset, because it isn’t for everyone. It’s one thing to become an early riser if you believe it will provide you more energy for the rest of the day, or it’s part of your exercise routine. But waking up earlier for the sole purpose of doing doesn’t mean you’ll be any more productive; it can be quite the opposite if you aren’t at your best in the morning and end up wasting all that time just trying to function, and then you’ll just be frustrated and feel uninspired. Why not start things when you know you’ll be able to do it best?

In this step, find out when during the day you are at your best to take on different challenges. At the beginning of the year, for psychobiology, we determined our biorhythm by measuring a few things. Some people don’t believe in it, but it couldn’t hurt to try it out right? To find out, just do the following for the next five days:

1. Pick a time interval that will allow you to repeat each step 4 times each day (E.g. every 4 hours.)
2. Temperature: take your temperature at the time and record it. When you look at your results, a change in 0,5 might seem insignificant but it is not!
3. Heart rate: record your heart rate at the time as well.
4. Time: put a timer and without looking at it, estimate when you think a minute has gone by. Stop the timer and record the time it was running (it doesn’t matter how close you are/aren’t to the exact minute!)
5. Record how you are feeling at that moment (E.g. exhausted, excited, apathetic…)

So if I chose a time interval of 4 hours and I started at 8 a.m., at 8 a.m. I would measure my temperature and heart rate; I would then estimate a minute in time and write down how I’m feeling. Take a look at your results. Generally, body temperature and heart rate will be highest at your most alert times. Regarding time, your estimates should fall below the actual minute when you are most activated (higher heart rate and temperature), and the opposite should happen when you are less so. Don’t forget to take into account how you were feeling at the time as well!

This is a rough guide but it will help you define when more or less you are most alert during the day! Once you’ve figured it out, try working on your projects at that time and see if it works for you.

So sugardrop, will you give this a go? At which time during the day do you think you are at your best?