Keeping Friendship Alive

It might be cheesy, but it is so true: real, true friends are not easy to come across. Luckily for me, I have found a few along the way (Caroline if you’re reading, you’re definitely in there x). We’ve seen each other at our best, at our worst, our silliest or most embarrassing moments. This is an ode to them, for being there despite our being scattered all over the world. It isn’t always easy to keep in touch due to time difference and busy university life, but no matter how long it’s been since we last met for a coffee date, with them it feels no longer than a day. How do you keep your friendships alive? It is obvious that in any relationship things unfold as they’re meant to, but I always feel a little effort should be put into them.

Tell them how much they mean to you
Go ahead and be cheesy! This might be easier to do in writing, or paint them something, send them something in the mail. Just let them know you appreciate them at all times.

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” — Helen Keller

Listen
Listen to what they have to say, but actually listen. It might seem silly to you, them gushing about a boyfriend or coming to you after their billionth argument. But if they have chosen you to confide in, that means something. It means it is important to them and they are sharing it with someone they trust. Sometimes listening doesn’t require a full list of suggestions of what you would do, sometimes just being there for them to let it out is enough.

Be honest
If there is something great about true friends is that you can be honest. Tell them what you’re thinking, what’s bothering you. Don’t try to hide something because they will either see through it or find out eventually (they are your best friend…)

“I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t judge
The people I trust the most, people whose friendship I value the most, have never judged me. I feel like I can tell them anything; something I feel stupid about doing, or scared or embarrassed about. Even if you disagree with something they’re doing, let them know you’ll still be around.

Forgive and forget
Don’t hold grudges. I remember once I had a fallout with a close friend and we didn’t speak for the rest of the school year. Then we realized that didn’t get us anywhere; I sent her an email and we both agreed we had been pretty stupid. When it comes to good friends, swallowing up your own pride over who’s right and who’s wrong is important sometimes. Apologize and accept their apologies. Move on.

Don’t cancel on them
Sometimes life gets in the way and you have to cancel on people. If it isn’t essential, don’t cancel on your friends. If you aren’t feeling up for it then let them know honestly but be sure to reschedule. Best friends are like a second family, don’t put them aside.

“Go often to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.”  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

K.I.T!
Keep in touch! Typical phrase found in every senior’s yearbook. Actually keep in touch with friends no matter how far away or close they are. It’s funny how nowadays it’s so much easier, what with facebook, e-mail, skype, blogs etc., and yet we still put it off. For me, I have to actually sit down for a while to be able to write out exactly what I’m thinking and to keep them up to date. Skype is amazing, but time difference is not. For whatever reason keeping in touch is harder than it seems, but if the friendship is strong, even the longest time without speaking will not be enough to extinguish it. Plan trips where you can all meet up again and actually catch up face to face; there’s nothing better than that.

“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” — Mark Twain