Surviving LDR – Part I
(Surviving relationships is already tough, but when you add distance to the mix – well, let’s just say your pancakes may need more than just a little syrup. Living away from your person in the universe is hard work. It may feel like the apocalypse, or like that terrible feeling in your gut when you find out something you really wished you hadn’t, like Santa’s nonexistence.
So, the very obvious question should be: is it worth it?
An equally obvious response would be: it depends.
On what? Your personal perspective of distance, your relationship, hopes for the future…There are a million things one could consider, but usually the fact that you’re willing to take the plunge for that person is already the first step into the possibility of a LDR.
Okay you really are in love, but still can’t decide whether or not you’ll survive it. Try thinking about:
- The actual distance
Being able to ride a car or take a train to see your person is certainly easier than having to take one or several planes to get there. This affects how long and how often you’ll be able to see each other. - Your relationship dynamics
Are you guys always (and I mean always) together? Are either (or both!) of you jealous? Trust is key in long distance, so it’s always good to check how you’re doing on that department. - What would change?
If there is time difference, available talking time will be significantly reduced; you might have to sacrifice some of your income to arrange a meeting at some point; you need to make up for ‘together time’ – what can you do to keep things going? - How could it benefit you as a couple?
Not being together 24-7 can mean less arguing and more time to pour yourself into your studies or a hobby, or even your friends! You’ll have more to tell, and when you finally see each other time will be so precious chances are you’ll make it a magical few days (which can help in the exciting department…in every single way!) - Consider your individual goals:
If you have similar ideas of where you want to go in life, you’ll both be getting there and so when you are finally together for good, the process of readapting will be almost effortless.
It’s really important to be honest with yourself while thinking about all these. Are you going to commit? Do you trust them to be faithful? Do you trust yourself to be faithful? The secret here is to talk it out, see what both of your expectations are and take it from there. Remember there are two in a relationship, which means that at any given point one is free to get up and leave; whether that will be you or them, or whether it will happen at all depends on too many factors to predict. There are long distance relationships that work and many that don’t, just as some ’local’ relationships work and others fail miserably.
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[...] is worth it and trust rules above all in your relationship. (Not sure whether to take the leap? Consider these and think about it!) That is absolutely great, but it doesn’t mean it will be easy. In fact [...]
This is wonderful advice <3
x Corrine/Frock & Roll x's last blog ..5 Ideas For Celebrating Halloween (That Don’t Involve Leaving The House.. WIN!) ?
My current relationship is f*cked up enough without any long-distance problems added to it. Thank God we’re both going to college on the same city. It was really hard to deal when I spent a month studying in Paris, and I don’t think we could pull the long-distance relationship thing off.