I was going though my ‘inspiration’ folder (yes, I have all my stuff separated into folders. It may have to do with my neat freak tendencies), and I found these little gems. I’m in a flat with my mother at the moment, but if things to go plan I’ll have this little castle to myself. Then I’ll print all these out and go find everything I need to make everything magical and beautiful. I might want to get a job first, though.
Not sure where some came from, but a lot of them come from The Selby because I absolutely love that place.
(Stacie & Geoff)
Surviving relationships is already tough, but when you add distance to the mix – well, let’s just say your pancakes may need more than just a little syrup. Living away from your person in the universe is hard work. It may feel like the apocalypse, or like that terrible feeling in your gut when you find out something you really wished you hadn’t, like Santa’s nonexistence.
So, the very obvious question should be: is it worth it?
An equally obvious response would be: it depends.
On what? Your personal perspective of distance, your relationship, hopes for the future…There are a million things one could consider, but usually the fact that you’re willing to take the plunge for that person is already the first step into the possibility of a LDR.
Okay you really are in love, but still can’t decide whether or not you’ll survive it. Try thinking about:
- The actual distance
Being able to ride a car or take a train to see your person is certainly easier than having to take one or several planes to get there. This affects how long and how often you’ll be able to see each other.
- Your relationship dynamics
Are you guys always (and I mean always) together? Are either (or both!) of you jealous? Trust is key in long distance, so it’s always good to check how you’re doing on that department.
- What would change?
If there is time difference, available talking time will be significantly reduced; you might have to sacrifice some of your income to arrange a meeting at some point; you need to make up for ‘together time’ – what can you do to keep things going?
- How could it benefit you as a couple?
Not being together 24-7 can mean less arguing and more time to pour yourself into your studies or a hobby, or even your friends! You’ll have more to tell, and when you finally see each other time will be so precious chances are you’ll make it a magical few days (which can help in the exciting department…in every single way!)
- Consider your individual goals:
If you have similar ideas of where you want to go in life, you’ll both be getting there and so when you are finally together for good, the process of readapting will be almost effortless.
It’s really important to be honest with yourself while thinking about all these. Are you going to commit? Do you trust them to be faithful? Do you trust yourself to be faithful? The secret here is to talk it out, see what both of your expectations are and take it from there. Remember there are two in a relationship, which means that at any given point one is free to get up and leave; whether that will be you or them, or whether it will happen at all depends on too many factors to predict. There are long distance relationships that work and many that don’t, just as some ’local’ relationships work and others fail miserably.
- Gaining an hour for daylight savings.
- Skype dates with Tom (Lately we’ve been watching a lot of True Blood. I’m not sure how I feel about this yet.)
- Home made custard! I absolutely love that stuff.
What are you guys loving right now?
Nothing turns me off more than a spelling mistake or a typo. When I seek someone’s writing, be it on the web, newspapers or books, I expect that any spelling errors have been taken care of prior to publishing. When this doesn’t happen, it makes me question the person’s credibility. Too harsh? Maybe. But just think – if this person is being so careless with their writing, why should I believe they are any different regarding their work/business/whatever?
I don’t know if it has been by coincidence, but today alone I have spotted spelling mistakes from three different sources: a newspaper wrote down Nicolas Narkozy as France’s president, a business tried to lure me into their strategy by confusing “you’re” with “your”, and a magazine mentioned a band – Death Cub For Cutie – in their “most listened to” page. Needless to say I was not impressed; in the case of the business, I clicked away from the page, and as for the other two – they were put down, left somewhere in the gigantic black hole that is my university hallway.
How can we avoid such awful, silly (and often embarrassing) mistakes?
- Pay attention while you’re actually writing/typing, so that spelling errors are kept to a minimum
- After adding a section of text, re-read the previous section. Kill two birds with one stone: check the flow of your writing AND fix any spelling mistakes!
- Try to get someone else to take a peek at it – we’re often so consumed in our work that we overlook tiny (and sometimes not so tiny) mistakes
- Take the time to read your work at least once before you submit/publish/print it!
- Do not rely on spell-checkers! A spell checker knows that “your” and “you’re” are both words, and not all of them can tell whether you’re using them right! (Ditto for their v.s they’re, then v.s than, bare v.s bear…)
- When in doubt…use the dictionary! Even simply typing the word into Google will suffice
- Make a list of words you commonly misspell – for each time you misspell a word, put a tally next to it
- READ! Devour any form of writing you have around you – books, magazines, newspapers, blogs, subtitles! (Subtitles are actually a great way to improve on a foreign language)
Check out Write Better English’s How to Improve Your Spelling: Techniques That Work.
Writing to communicate is no different than speaking; if anything, writing is a guide for speaking, but that’s another story. Any grammar and/or spelling mistakes need to be looked to before publishing. It is your (and perhaps your company’s) image that will suffer if you let these slip.
What do you need to focus on to grow as a person? Here is a very simple exercise that will help you visualize this.
(save this & print!)
- Click the above image to save it and get started, or simply take a look and copy the asterisk & headings down on your own paper.
- Rate each area of your life on a 1-10 scale (center being 0, the edge being 10) by placing a dot along its corresponding line.
- Next, connect the dots with a black pen.
- Now reevaluate your situation and mark (on a scale from 1-10) where you’d like each area to be. Connect these new dots with a red pen.
Take a look! The bigger or “rounder” your wheel is, the more satisfied you are with your life. Compare the black area with the red area and see how close they are. If there is a large gap between the two, try to think of why that is and which steps you can take to push the black area closer to the red area.
I did this exercise with a friend of mine while I was going through a bit of a rut in Beijing, and it helped me to actually see these on paper. I hope it helps you guys as well ♥
