The One Where You Don’t Need to Explain Yourself
Breathe in and out — you own your life. Explanations are not required.
Step Seven: Less is More
“Less is more”, from Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, was one of the slogans on my posters the year I ran for Secretary of Advertising many, many moons ago in highschool. I thought it was to the point and it let my design speak for itself. Unfortunately I don’t think many people agreed — I didn’t get it, BUT! that is not the point. (I later realized it was a slogan for a whitening cream in Hong Kong, so I guess I wasn’t alone in thought!)
I still stand by it; sometimes you just need to cut back and squeeze the juice out of simplicity for sheer enjoyment. Think quality, use and value. It’s like I’d rather have one pair of Louboutin peep toes than a collection of mediocre pumps.
How many times have you opened a drawer and gasped at the sight of an item as though you had only just discovered it, but really it was in there since, well, forever? YEAH. Same goes for purses, or pockets, closets and the scary space under your bed.
In short: you own way more than what you need. Of course there are wants we have lying around the house, but how many of those are just taking up space and interrupting the energy flow in your home?
Declutter your space
Less clothes. If you are like me, you probably have a hard time closing your closet doors and when it comes down to it, you only wear about 30% of what’s in there. So clear it all out: if it’s too old, worn or still has the pricetag on — out it goes. Donate it/throw it out.
Focus on having one of everything first; a good quality item rather than a bunch of half priced clones. Build your wardrobe so that you can mix and match almost everything, with a few key pieces that stand on their own and you’ll be good to go!
Stay away from sales, as they’ll entice you and you’ll only end up with something useless ‘because it was cheap.’
For inspiration: The Uniform Project, A Practical Guide to Owning Fewer Clothing
Less gadgets. One of the reasons I want the iPhone 4 in my life is because it’s like carrying all your gadgets in one. When I have to carry more than three separate techie gadgets — I don’t like it. Think of what you use most. Obviously if photography is your thing, you aren’t going to settle for the iPhone’s built-in camera no matter how powerful it is. The less your life is run my technology the better. So you have a perfectly fine working computer. Do you need an iPad? No. Also remember all these gadgets come with a set of cables/ports/batteries/stands…keep it simple!
“The things you own end up owning you.” — Tyler Durden, Fight Club
Less beauty products. Some of us have developed a tiny makeup obsession, so that walking into any makeup store every product looks like a giant candy waiting to be devoured. And so we buy it, even if the shade is 98.99% the same plum we bought last week (this one is a shimmer so it’s allowwed!) The quickest way to fix this: take part in Project 10 Pan: do not buy a new product until you have used up 10 of the same thing! And just as a general rule, use up everything you buy.
Less *gasp!* books/magazines. Magazines and books take a lot of space and are especially annoying when moving houses. If Kindle types are not for you, simply go through all your books and donate/sell any which you know you will never re-read. There’s no point in keeping those around. Same with magazines!
For more: 101 Physical Things That Can Be Reduced in Your Home
Declutter your mind & heart
Invest energy in the right things. When you’re in highschool you think being Secretary of Advertising is incredibly important, as are all grades so you spend weeks studying for your math final only to just pass by a few percent. Then when you’re out of it you realize how silly it was to put so much of your energy on something that you barely even remember today. When it comes down to it, are you worrying about things that matter? People matter, your health and happiness matter. We need to learn to be selective and to not sweat the little stuff.
Don’t pick up any rocks. When we’re in an argument or we’re insulted, we immediately accept the insult as though it were a bag of rocks with our name on it. Nobody said it was for us to pick up, but we pick it up anyway and lug it around, angry and frustrated. Next time, just don’t. Just because it has your name on it doesn’t mean you have to pick it up. Simply leave it there and move on.
Leave unhealthy relationships of any kind. What do you value in your relationships? Why is your best friend the best? Once you know this, you’ll know who is adding value to your life and who isn’t. Feel free to disconnect from energy vamps, rude and toxic people if they are only detiriorating you and the life you want for yourself. Period!
“Simplicity, clarity, singleness: these are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy.” — Richard Halloway
Enjoy the simple things. A picnic at night, a quick swim in the sea, a walk in the park. Go out and enjoy everything that’s already out there, and drop the mindset that you need to buy this and that in order to be able to do whatever. After all, you’ve been cutting back on so many material things that you’ll have enough money to spare for nice meals out, or travelling!
The less you have, the less you have to worry about; the less time you need to spend maintaining things; the less things you’ll feel like you NEED or even want; the less space you need to keep it all together; the more you can enjoy everything else not attached to a material thing! It’s funny how all this less can equal so much gain.
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” — Socrates, Way of the Peaceful Warrior
What kind of things will you be eliminating to declutter your life? Any tips for us minimalism beginners?
How To Approach Anyone
Often we are under the impression that certain people are superior, unreachable. We forget that we are all humans, each with our own faults and strengths, so when it comes to trying to approach said holier individuals we crumble under nerves and fear of rejection and ridicule. It’s a self preservation thing, and we all do it!
So how do you approach these people, break the ice and hold a conversation without feeling like a fool/embarrassed/inadequate/Bridget Jones?
Your opening line
First and foremost, find something to say. Who is this person? What may you have in common? For one, you’re in the same place. Maybe you both know the host, or you both opted for the assorted sushi instead of the mini burgers. Whatever it is, make sure you say it like you mean it.
The art of smiling
Don’t give your smile away right off the bat. After your initial brief introduction, wait a moment and take in the situation. Allow them to do the same and to reply — even if it’s just a “Hi”. Then flash your warmest, brightest smile at them. It will make them feel acknowledged, like you genuinely want to stick around even if it means getting through a bit of painful small talk first.
Eye contact
Look them straight in the eye as you speak. Not only does it show respect, it shows you’re both on the same level. You have something to say and they want to listen.
Converse
Remember that you are holding a conversation, which means they should be doing some of the talking too! Be interested in what they say and ask pertinent questions (only if you are actually interested in knowing the answer!). Don’t get into heavy political debates; touch lightly on any subject that comes up while still letting your personality show through of course! If you want to win them instantly, all you have to do is talk about their favorite subject: THEM! Start with that ;)
Just remember to be your usual amazing self, that is always most important!
How would you approach someone that slightly intimidates you?
Luana’s Style Signatures
If I were taking one of those magazine ‘What is your style?’ quizzes, I know right off the bat there would be no option for me. I’m not glam rock, definitely not vintage-girly, not entirely preppy and not a “hipster”. I read fashion blogs and admire how their writers dress as if out of the same fashion line — cohesive yet different. But that’s not me!
I get all dolled up at night and go Tiger Lily on you during the day. There is no clear-cut pattern in my wardrobe, and I’m starting to come to terms with it. Some say I’m classic, others eclectic. But why put yourself in a category box at all? I wear what I like, what makes me feel best. If I must be put into a box, that’s the category I’d like to fall under.
That said, reading over Nubby’s post on personal style signatures, I found that while I don’t limit myself to the confined walls of one single style, there are some recurring style choices in my fashion history:
- Above all, simplicity. You will find about four patterned pieces in my closet altogether, and they are all florals. I also don’t do layering very well (I’ll go as far as two layers before feeling like a complete fool!)
- Plenty of neutral basics.
- Bodycon anything.
- Nailpolish. My favs: mint green, bubblegum pink, red & burgundy.
- Smokey eyes & syrup lips. I don’t like perfect makeup, and I feel the smokey eye is ideal for making my eyes stand out in a natural almost effortless manner. MAC Syrup lipstick is also a daily fav.
- Flats. I only wear heels when going out, or to a fancy dinner; otherwise it’s flats all the way for me!
- Statement accessories. Accessories actually bother me a lot of the time; I find them impractical, which puts me in a predicament as I own so many you’d think they were ‘my thing’. I’ll usually only wear a necklace, or a bracelet, or a big chunky ring, but never all at the same time. I can’t go out without earrings on though! As for sunglasses/hats/bandanas, they don’t exist for me.
- Oversized bags. I don’t know how to live without them and struggle to jam everything into a tiny purse for night outings :(
Basically if I’m going to be worrying about an outfit while wearing it, it’s not for me. Everything I wear I do because a) I absolutely love it b) it fits well and c) I am comfortable in it. That’s all there is to it for me, really!
What are your style signatures?
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
I’m trying to get ahead on my 50 Books Challenge (I’ve been bad!) and so I picked up The Bell Jar last week. I finished it in two days but didn’t write about it sooner because that’s how I am — I like to let a good book sink in. After reading this stunning gem I wanted more, so I thought about it and read up on Sylvia Plath and reread some of her poetry.
The way she so eloquently put what her life had been into such beautiful prose, and the way I couldn’t help but identify with so many questions and doubts that inevitably pop up as one grows up and is supposed to make way in the world made this book so easy to get lost in. I think especially now that I’m having my own doubts as to what it is I really want to do, whether I can succeed doing what I love and whether I’m just adequate in general (though hopefully I’m not alone in all that, how scary!)
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked….I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
It was heartbreaking and funny and tragic all at the same time.
